


Seeing You

by chehrries, SameTaemin



Category: PewDiePie - Fandom, Video Blogging RBF, Youtubers, jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Blind Character, Blindness, Cute boys, Gay, M/M, Mark Fischbach - Freeform, Marzia Bisognin - Freeform, Minor Character Death, MxM - Freeform, Not Septiplier, Sean McLoughlin - Freeform, Septicpie, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, YouTubers - Freeform, a little bit of smut, a lot of fluff, blind sean mcloughlin, blind!sean, chehrries, dom!Sean, dom!Sean McLoughlin, felix kjellberg - Freeform, fluff!, grab your tissues bitches, pewdiepie - Freeform, sametaemin, slow, sub!Felix Kjellberg, sub!felix
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2020-10-27 19:30:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20765759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chehrries/pseuds/chehrries, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SameTaemin/pseuds/SameTaemin
Summary: Felix, a lonely boy in Brighton, desperately searches for contentment. Having lost his soulmate from a car crash, Felix feels he will never find love again. That thought gets flipped when Sean waltzes into his work and steals his heart. How will Felix convince the man that he is the only one for him? Maybe Sean's loss of sight will help Felix's plan.orAn AU in which Blind!Sean and Felix fall in love after Felix lies to Sean about being his soulmate.© @chehrries and @sametaemin 2019





	1. ONE

**Author's Note:**

> This work is shared between two authors. Chehrries' chapter titles will be capitalized whereas SameTaemin's chapter titles will be lowercase. Enjoy.
> 
> Love,  
Chehrries and SameTaemin.

Felix was stood at his usual spot inside of The Pet Shed, his workplace of almost a year. The cashier counter reached his belly button, the squishy mat under his feet making his height of 5’11” peak to a solid 6 foot. He wore a denim blue and white apron along with a pearl-colored baggy tee, loose-fitting khaki cargo pants, and navy Nike runners. The color combination almost blended into his pallid skin. The rubicund hints of flesh being the only factor that distinguished where his uniform shirt stopped and his arm began.

Felix loved his job. The favorite part of his day was watching as animals sauntered into the company with their owners. The exciting nature of the creatures so obvious as they noticed all the toys and treats set out to entice them. How they would bounce around and beg their humans wordlessly to buy them what they craved. Their excited noises when the item is thrown in their basket always brought a smile to his face.

His eyelids sagged from the events of the night before. The skin under his lower lashes a virulent shade of blue, the edges of his eyeballs ruby from being bloodshot. Felix was never good at keeping a strict sleeping schedule. His endeavors always ended in him lying awake at 3 am with his phone shoved in his expression, the sound of his favorite YouTubers flooding his ears. The male shook the tiredness out of his face and planted a faux smile onto his lips. He had been tired all day and all the coffee in the world didn't seem to erase his exhaustion. He hoped that didn't affect his ability to work.

The weary man snapped his head up when the familiar door chime sounded, signifying the entrance of a new patron. Sandy-blonde hair flowing harshly with his movements. His greeting died on his tongue once he saw a man with vibrant, almost neon, green hair stumble into the shop. He wore black skinny jeans on his legs, a black short sleeve shirt covering florid fingers that held tightly onto a large Irish Greyhound, his hands clenched around a red harness that read **‘SERVICE DOG! DO NOT PET!’**

Felix decided this was a perfect time to go on break, seeing as no one was in his line anyway, letting his co-worker know before scampering off to follow the man that had walked into his shop. He smoothed down the fabric of his apron as he turned a corner. The blonde man saw the shopper with his phone out, letting it wave over objects. He could faintly hear sounds coming from it but he wasn't close enough to interpret what it was saying. Cute Boy, as Felix called him in his head, slowly searched for the items he came for.

Felix stared at the newcomer, gaze flickering down his arms and chest. He took in his appearance and painted a picture in his mind to keep for himself. He had never seen such a good looking man before. Usually, the man’s type was women but he knew this was not the case today. His heart fluttered for the neon boy. He couldn't remember any time that a male could do that to him.

The gaze of the Swede fell to the basket in Cute Boy's hand, trailing across his findings and smiling. He was a generous buyer. That was interesting to find out. Felix had always been frugal and anxious about spending his money. He was always worried one day he would be flat broke and homeless again. He could not risk that happening. Never again.

Items were grabbed from the shelf and put into the green-haired boy's basket, a pair of eyes watching as his biceps flexed from gripping the boxes and bowls. How his shirt rode up slightly when reaching for something higher up. The hair that started at his belly button and traveled deep into the boy's jeans. What he would do to get his hands on him. To feel his soft porcelain skin under his rough fingertips.

A squeak almost escaped the man's mouth as Cute Boy turned around, pretending to face the shelves. But the customer had walked by indifferent by his sudden presence. He sighed in relief at not being caught. How could he explain why he was creeping on him? There was no logical answer to that.

With a smug grin, he waltzed back to his station and sent his co-worker back to what they were doing before he called for a break. He successfully had some eye candy for the day and the boy was now satisfied. The blonde watched as Cute Boy came from the shelves and made his way towards the check out area. Felix prayed the boy came to him and not one of the other employees. He only had one customer in his line while his colleague had two so maybe Cute Boy would pick him after all. But with a glance down to the dog at his side, it seemed like the Greyhound was the one leading. Felix went back to focusing on his task. His hands subconsciously scanned each item the customer had placed on the counter, his calloused fingertips swiping over a leopard dog sweater. Why would _anyone_ buy this for their animal?

His brain got caught up thinking about Cute Boy so close to him. How he would smell and feel if they ever hugged. How did he sound? Was he as British as the old man that lived across from him in his apartment? He hoped not. Felix was so tired of the same old accent in his ears all the time. He wanted change in his life. The man hoped he was American or German or something that was not from England.

“Excuse me? I am trying to pay.” The older woman he was attending to snapped in a tone of pure temerity.

Felix’s eyes hesitantly trailed back to her, his cheeks brightening as his stomach twisted in embarrassment. He had completely forgotten where he was. Blue irises skittered down her pudgy arm, fixating on the fifty dollar bill that laid in her hand. She was very short. Only about five feet tall. But he knew if he pissed her off anymore that he would be out of a job. His boss didn't like complaints. He relied on the reviews on his Yelp.

“Oh. Sorry about that.” The Swede mumbled in his monotone cashier voice, the plastic smile making its way back to his face as the fire in his cheeks started to die down. He couldn't look like a mess in front of his customer. That would only make him look worse to her beady black pupils.

With the press of a few buttons, the man finished his task and the woman went on her way. He noticed the extra pettiness in her steps as she left the store. She was probably on her way to complain about how idiotic Felix was acting. His sharp fingernails left white lines over the tattoo on his inner forearm. The three words that brought his mind back to the day he met his soulmate. A woman named Marzia who had been hit by a car was the lady he was supposed to live forever with.

“I'm so sorry.” Felix read out the words scrawled across his skin. The first and last words his soulmate had ever said to him. He watched as she died, crushed under the metal of a 2009 Honda Odyssey. He would never forget the feeling in his heart as she left him behind. An aching, pulling tug that left him damaged for years. He had gone through multiple stages of therapy after her. Although he had barely known her, the death of his true soulmate was so heart-breaking that it had almost sent him spiraling into a side of him that he hated.

Felix had left Sweden to get away from the easily accessible drugs he had around him. He had abused the substance to the point where he could barely function as a human being without it. He was scared that after losing Marzia, he would be pulled back into that lifestyle. Luckily, he refused to let that happen and got back into a healthy mindset. But he still had that dark feeling of never being able to find true love again.

But as the man looked up and caught another glimpse of the neon hair belonging to a pretty boy, he believed his second chance had come.

“Hi! Did you find everything alright? D-Do you have an account with us?” Felix stumbled over his words as he guiltily trailed his sight across the unknown man’s face. He wanted so badly to stare into the boy's eyes but the darkness of his sunglasses had blocked any eye contact from proceeding. The giant-like dog sat at the green-haired man’s side, looking up at him as if he was drinking in every emotion he felt. Was his purpose to soothe his owner's anxiety? Felix wasn't sure why the dog was there and he also did not understand why the customer still had his sunglasses on his face. He caught himself thinking about how cute he would be rubbing his face from the sensitivity the sun granted him.

A quick look to his arm told Felix that he didn't belong to him truly. He knew the stranger had a soulmate out there somewhere but maybe he could make something work. Maybe they could be friends at the least. But the selfish side of the Swede prayed that the man hadn't found his soulmate yet and he was still clueless to anything about them. The worker hoped he could at least be a fling to the guy. There was no way he would stay with him if he knew he wasn't his true partner.

"Er... Yes. Yes, I did." The guest spoke back in a timid voice, staring straight ahead as he sifted through his pockets for his wallet. "An', yes. I 'ave an account. My number is 555-239-7324." He mumbled under his breath, Felix having to strain his ears to hear him.

This man was quite shy. He was stunning, though. The blondie couldn't grasp what he could be shy about. He pocketed the knowledge and nodded hastily, his teeth clamping down onto his bottom lip. He gnawed vigorously at it as he tried to wonder if taking this man's number for his own would be immoral of him. Felix decided to jot the number down. Not for any reason. Not so he could text him later like a creep.

"I'm Felix." The male introduced himself before his brain could keep his mouth shut. He pinched his thigh harshly, the feeling of his nails digging into his skin making him wince. He was so grateful the boy didn't seem to mind how forward he was with wanting to keep a conversation. Fortunately, today was rather slow so this man was the only person in his line to witness the train wreck of the employee.

"Sean. But people call me Jack. Ye can call me Jack." Sean spoke with more confidence this time around, his words louder and more comprehensible by Felix. He could now tell that his customer had a strong accent. His voice twitching on some syllables. Was he Irish? Felix felt pride in his heart at the discovery. He wasn't the only foreigner in Brighton anymore.

_ Jack. Jack. Jack._

The name swirled in Felix's mind over and over. Each gilded letter flying around in his brain as he took the money Sean handed over and finished off the purchase. He bagged a black water bowl, a few collars, and a blue frame with dog bones around the sides. It seemed like the boy was celebrating a new pet. He wondered if the dog next to him was that animal being celebrated.

Sean took the bags being handed to him and turned on his heel, letting his Greyhound lead the way to the exit. Felix's baby blues following his every move. Completely entranced was the only way to describe it.

"B-Bye!" Felix choked out his departing words, looking down at the paper on the counter while Sean left the spot he was standing in to withdraw from the shop. The numbers stared back at him as his heart raced ferociously. He could barely believe he had enough gall to actually follow through with his shortly devised plan. With a glance to his tattoo, he sighed happily.

Felix could not, for the life of him, get his mind off of Sean. The way his hair laid against his forehead, how it shined from the sun coming in through the windows. Pink lips curled up just the tiniest bit. He wondered how Sean looked with a grin spread across his face. The male wanted to see how he looked in the happiest of his moments. The joy lighting up in his features would be one sight Felix will look forward to.

A slight sound came from deep within his throat as he gawked at Sean while he walked away. His arm swinging next to his side, one hand filled with a harness handle and the other, a plastic bag. His gaze fell from the back of his head to his shoulders, tracing every ridge in his memory. Next was his back, his shirt tight against it and showing the muscles as they flexed gently with each move. As Felix’s line of sight moved lower, the boy blushed and looked away. He refused to watch Sean’s ass so publicly like this. He refused the chance to get caught and embarrassed for life.

As the boy cleaned up his work area, he kept thinking about all the chances he would get to do a relationship right. A do-over from his one-off meeting with Marzia. He would finally get all the fairy tale love he had always wanted if this worked out. Felix prayed this would work out. But the man had a habit of getting ahead of himself and hoping for unattainable things. But maybe this time it would be different. With a glance to his tattoo, Felix sighed happily.

Today was the day Felix finally had the chance to move on.

-

Felix grabbed his shoulder bag from where it laid inside of his locker, his feet shuffling around to gather his things from the break room before he went on his trek home. The giddy feeling in his heart attacked at his subconscious. He wanted nothing more than to go home and text the cute boy from today. He wasn't exactly sure what he would say to disguise how awkward it will probably be.

The break room contained two long tables with six seats in each. Felix had always been bemused by the seat count when only he and two other people were employees at his workplace. It truly made no sense to him. In the left corner of the room, a microwave sat on a counter with a coffee pot right next to it. He and his coworkers weren't the best at being tidy so coffee pods and sugar packets were scattered around the surface.

The male pulled his jacket onto his arms, the clothing hugging his body and shielding him from the harsh wind Brighton had to offer. His apron was still on his waist, finding it difficult to ride a bike with an apron under his arm. Felix ran his fingers through his hair and sighed in content, his feet pattering against the floor as he left the break room and went back out to his cashier counter. He signed out of the computer and went to the front door, flipping the sign around to say 'closed'.

He marched out of The Pet Shed, his feet smacking against the pavement with each step towards his mint green bike. The male slipped onto the seat and rode it back to his apartment building. A structure in shambles that had very little management and rats deep within the walls. He will never forget the pittering of their feet as they ran around in the insolation. The front lobby held a man with his feet kicked up on the front desk, his ball cap resting over the top of his face as he snored loudly. Felix shook his head and walked up the stairs to his own quarters. He started to feel the pressure of his phone in his pocket. The weight felt like it tripled, burning a hole in his work pants.

"_Herregud_. This will be rough." Felix grunted as he fell back onto his bed, the satchel discarded near his door and his apron flung across the floor. His room wasn't the tidiest location in the world. Clothes were strewn across the floor chaotically, his closet was the farthest from organized, and his shoes obstructed his door from moving any closer to the wall.

Felix's room had many posters on the wall of Swedish artists only he could appreciate. His acoustic guitar hung from a wall hanger with the signature of an artist he admired as a child. It had always been his dream to get something signed from the celebrity's to have forever. That dream was met. The walls were light blue in color, the floor a dark wood. A dark grey and blue rug sat over the floor in front of his bed. All the blue in his room didn't help his depression. Sometimes he felt the urge to paint his entire apartment yellow just to get that sickening feeling of forced happiness every morning. Maybe that would get the bad shit out of his mind for once.

Ankles crossed and fingers tapping away at his phone, he laid on his back over the mattress. The tip of his thumb kept hovering over the messaging app, ligaments shaking out of pure apprehension. Felix didn't want to seem like a stalker. Sean was so cute, the man would hate himself if he fucked that up. With a large inhale of air, the Swede started to type out a text message to the boy who was now in his phone as ’Jack!’ with a sparkle emoji following the name.

_ Hey! This is the guy from The Pet Shed. Felix. This may sound weird but I discovered something while you were buying stuff. Meet me at the Coffee House across the street tomorrow at noon?_

Felix was scared it was too blunt. Too straight forward for someone who he had never met before. But the heart bounding connection they had shared could not be wasted because of his diffidence. The male pressed the send button before he could back out, tossing his phone down on his bed and staring at the ceiling with a nervous grin. Dare he say he was proud of himself?

The time was spent thinking about what would come next. What would he do if Sean agreed? Would he cry of happiness or never actually show up from all the anxiety he was already acquiring? Maybe he needed an anxiety service dog too. The boy just ran his fingers through his hair, trying to make his mind go silent so he would stop freaking out about something so small. He would be fine even if Sean rejected his offer. Right?

To pass the time while Felix waited for a response, he opened up Instagram and began to search for Sean. He tried multiple things. _Sean Jack Irish. Sean Cute Green Hair. Jack With Covered Eyes._ Something about that last search had pulled up an account with about five thousand followers. _JackSepticEye_. He saw the green-haired man in almost all of his photos. Luckily none contained anyone Felix deemed as a romantic interest. He didn't look at much but he did notice those sunglasses were a common factor in his photos. He would have to ask about that if Sean agreed to their meeting.

The man lurched towards his phone when it made a loud ’ding’ sound. His calloused fingers wrapped around the device as he read over the message in record time. He had never read something so fast in his life before.

_ Oh. I remember you. Sure. _

_I'd love to hear your pretty voice more._

The coquettish message had almost sent him spiraling. How could such a bashful boy say his voice was pretty? And why his voice of all things? His Americanized Swedish accent wasn't exactly pleasing to his own ears. He hated how much of his natural voice he had lost due to being away from home. Why hadn't Sean mentioned how he looked? Although he wasn't bold enough to call himself a looker, he wouldn't say his voice was something to be mentioned over his appearance.

He was sure the boy felt the same connection now. The same type of pull that set his entire brain on fire and gave his heart another meaning. Had Sean lost his soulmate too? He wondered if he had ever seen him. Maybe there was another purpose as to why he hadn't met his soulmate. Why would he flirt with Felix if he knew who he was supposed to be with anyway? Maybe his plan would actually work after all.

Felix started to wonder if the service dog was more of a seeing dog. Perhaps that was why he was wearing such dark sunglasses. He made a mental note to ask Sean tomorrow when they met for coffee. Now he had another reason to be nervous.

-

After dinner and a hot shower, the male cuddled up into bed under the heavy cloth blankets. His anxiety had subsided and was now replaced with absolute excitement. Teeth grinding together as he tried to keep his smile from exploding onto his face. He knew he wouldn't be able to stop and it would keep him up all night. Felix needed his precious beauty sleep if he was going to face Sean tomorrow for the second time ever.

The male thought about the meal he had prepared for himself that night. A microwave dinner that was about two dollars from the mart down the street. His work didn't pay much so his luxuries lived in a homecooked meal. Not a brand new Apple product. He was lucky if he could afford a cup of ramen after paying for all the bills he owed his landlord.

Felix started to feel the butterflies calming down, his ribcage not shuddering as hard from his heart pounding into it. His lungs started to fill with air that wasn't so strained from breathing hard. His mind had stopped racing. The Swedish man felt his body relax into the bed.

He started to feel just how comfy his mattress was as fatigue pooled over him in waves. The way his face went slack as his head sunk into the pillow. He knew tomorrow would be the most important day of his life. He needed to impress Sean. He needed to make sure Sean thought he was as cute as Felix felt in return. A sigh burst from his throat, straight from deep inside his lungs.

”Don’t fuck this up, Fe.” He muttered to himself as he shut his eyelids, knees brought to his chest and his fingers clenching the sheet that covered him. He could hardly will himself to stop speaking so he could drift off. Felix was scared he would get in his head and wouldn't be able to sleep all night. But after thirty long minutes, his efforts proved to not be in vain as he fell into the deepest slumber of the week.

Felix hoped tomorrow went as well as he had daydreamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New story alert! Hopefully everyone enjoyed the beginning of a new journey. Chapter 2 will come soon. Feel free to suggest any events for upcoming chapters! -C
> 
> Words in Swedish:
> 
> Herregud - Oh My God


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix meets Sean at a coffee shop where he finally realizes why Sean has a service dog. Felix's plan is a success.

Felix was watching the clock like a mad man. 

The coffee shop that the two men had agreed on was as busy as ever. Felix watched over the people as they went about their day, his eyes roamed and skimmed over their faces. He took into account all the people that walked into the small business hoping to the beautiful man from just the day before. As he thought about the other day his throat suddenly felt tight.

He shifted in his seat. Fuck. The reality of the situation had finally struck down on him. A heavy sigh left his lips as he rested his elbows on the table. He was never the most confident man, a little shy, even so, why was he here about to meet a man he just met the other day? This step may be too big and sudden for the Swedish man.

His mind continued to wander as he waited quietly. He stared blankly at the table before him, eyes followed the ridges of the dark stained wood, glancing up only occasionally when he heard the sound of the door being opened. A glimpse at his phone told him that it had only been about eight minutes later than the time they were supposed to officially meet. Absentmindedly he clicked open the message from the newly saved number.

_ I’d love to hear your pretty voice again.  _

“Jävla-” Felix mumbled. A hand came up to rub at his face. The sudden late-night thoughts of Sean probably being blind had re-entered his head so much to where he thought he might get a migraine. He wasn’t naive, he knew blind people could get around and if Sean was born that way it means it never affected him. He's a grown man, not some helpless child.

Still, Felix didn’t know how exactly to confront the other. Would it be too awkward to just come up to him and introduce himself? Would he just call out to him and hope his dog understood? The uneasiness crawled back up his throat again and he felt his body flush in both nervousness and courage. He couldn’t pussy out now of all times. Sean would walk through that door and the other was determined not to let his chance go. His fingers traced the words stained on his skin. A habit he picked up. 

He glanced around the café again, looking around to see if maybe in his train of thoughts the other man could have snuck in without him noticing. As he scanned the area once more his eyes caught sight of a bright flash of green. His heart pounded a bit harder as he stared at the man. His neon hair stood out almost comically in the dull backdrop of Brighton. He watched the man slow to a stop beside the door. The dog quickly sat still and looked up at the man, waiting for his next instructions. Sean slipped his phone out of his pocket and Felix watched with admiring eyes as the other brought it up to his mouth to speak into it.

“Ah, so it might be a seeing-eye dog…” Felix noted to himself. His foot began to bounce as he worked up the courage to walk up to the other, mentally prepared to have an awkward interaction. Before he could even continue his mini pep talk, his phone buzzed in his palm. Signaling he received a message. He jumped slightly, the male hoping that no one saw how jittery he was. 

As he looked down at his phone he saw the text messaging app light up. With a click, he brought the message onto the screen. It was unsurprisingly from the man standing outside the shop.

_ A bit late but I just arrived at the café. You wouldn’t mind coming up and helping me come in, would you? _

The man found himself moving before he registered what was happening. He pushed past some people as he made his way to the door, eyes focused on the man before him. As he pushed the handle of the door, the dog next to it looked up curiously at him. He nodded his head to the dog as if asking permission to approach the man. With a wag of its tail and a blink, Felix took that as his approval and stuck a hand back into his pockets. He stepped forward to let the other man feel his presence. 

“Hey, Sean,” The other greeted. His eyes scrunched up at the greeting. That was unbelievably awkward. At the call of his name, the man turned his face forward and smiled. Felix felt his heart jump. Now that there wasn’t a counter in between them, he could easily study the other man's face better. 

“Yes. Ah, it's Felix, right?” the man asked, his voice bright and bubbly. It held much more of a natural joy than Felix’s own. Felix nodded quickly as he stared at the man until the pause grew a bit too long.

“Oh. Sorry, yes it was,” Felix corrected, the blind man hadn't seen his awkward head nod. He mentally slapped himself. An awkward laugh left his throat as he wrapped his arms across his chest in discomfort. Even with the already awkward interaction, Sean’s smile never faltered and simply giggled at the flustered man. 

“Um, let's head inside and sit,” Felix suggested quickly, he wouldn’t let himself pussy out of this situation now. With a small nod, he gave a gentle tug to the dog’s harness and waited for the pet to stand.

“What’s your dog’s name?” Felix asked curiously.

“Her name is Brandy,” Sean said as he smiled and looked towards the dog. Felix laughed at the name.

“It’s quite fittin'. An Irish greyhound for an Irish lad, with an alcohol name. She got it because of her brown fur color, so I’ve been told. When I was lookin' for a seeing-eye dog at the shelter they handed me her first sayin’ we were meant to be paired together.” Sean explained. The two laughed at the story as Felix stepped aside to open the door.

“I’ve got the door for you,” Felix said. He watched as the other man commanded the dog to go into the shop. It wasn’t until the other man had entered the café that his words processed into the other's head. 

“She got it because of her fur color, so I’ve been told,” That part repeated in his mind. Could Sean had gone blind? The phrasing made Felix’s anxiety spike again. Maybe he was reading a bit too much into his wording but if he had gone blind that means his plan wouldn't work. He visibly winced at the mention of his plan. This was stupid, why was he taking advantage of this man simply because he felt a 'connection'? He walked himself into the shop after Sean, for a moment the two paused, Felix was unsure if he was to lead the man to the table he picked out or let Sean choose. He looked over and made sure his drink was still placed at the table. 

“I already had a table picked out before you got here,” Felix explained. 

“Sorry, I didn’t keep ye waiting long did I? I sorta took a wrong turn and had to ask for directions,” Sean flushed in embarrassment.

“No, not at all! I just had arrived a couple of minutes before you actually,” Felix smiled, “if you walk forward, the table I picked is to our right.” The man said as he pushed ahead. The man with green hair nodded and ushered the dog forward. The dog took the command immediately and moved forward to guide the man. Felix walked a bit faster to beat the man to the table. Pulling out his chair a bit louder than he would usually, making sure the cute man knew where he was. 

"You can sit here, um I can buy you a drink too. Since I invited you out here," Felix offered. Sean put a hand out to the side and successfully gripped the chair in his hand.

“Ah, thank you, if it wouldn’t be too much-”

“It wouldn’t,” Felix interjected, his face flushed in embarrassment. Sean was slightly taken aback by the interjection but brushed it off with a small giggle. 

“I like plain black coffee,” Sean sat down in the chair before he glanced up to the other's voice and smiled. Felix felt his heartbeat quicken and cheeks flush even darker. He was glad that the other wasn’t able to see his flustered state. 

“I’ll be right back then,” Felix glanced down to Brandy and watched her lay down onto the ground to relax. He let his hands fall to his side as he made his way to place the others order. While he stood in line, he watched the other sit at the table out of the corner of his eye. 

Even though they had only met just the other day, Felix felt the growing need to keep this man to himself. It was such a sudden feeling that it pounded in his chest. After Marzia had passed, he found himself often pushing people away. It was such a strained feeling to his heart when he would click with a person only to see the letters printed on their skin. It was a constant reminder to the man that the person would be whisked off with someone else, a reminder that there was no one else for him.

His heart had twisted in hope as he ordered the man’s black coffee. If he played his cards right, he wouldn't feel that pain anymore.

"Careful," Felix warned as he held out the man's coffee. Sean had stuck out his had as Felix met him halfway. Timidly, Sean pushed the cup up to his lips and took a small sip.

Felix looked at the dog once more. Its brightly colored vest almost hurt his eyes as he arranged his question. 

“So um, I just wanted to know but um…” the man trailed off unsure of how to touch on the subject.

“Yep, I was born blind,” Sean interjected, knowing where the man was going.

"So have you… had Brandy all your life?" Sean's cup was set down.

"No. I have only had her fer a couple of years. I got her when I moved ta Brighton."

"You aren't from here?" Felix asked to keep the conversation flowing, the man's heavy Irish accent made it clear he wasn't from here.

"I'm from Ireland! It's quite obvious but thanks for flattering me," Sean giggled. Felix smiled at the sound.

"Ah, well I'm not from here either. I was born in Sweden," Felix commented.

"Why did ye move to Brighton? I've heard that Sweden is such a lovely place." The man in question grimaced. It was a lovely place. When he was younger he had dreams of growing old with his soulmate there in his hometown, maybe even raising kids together. But that was no longer in his future. That beautiful town had drained him of his happiness and he was trying to move on.

"Needed a change in scenery, how about you?" He answered with a lopsided grin on his lips.

"Same here. I just wanted a change in my life," Sean replied. A comfortable silence took them over. The soft sounds of Brandy's pants mixed in with the rustle of the café. Felix overlooked the man’s appearance once again

“You really stand out, in a good way though!” Felix corrected himself, “You have such a nice presence to you. Plus your green hair is quite eye-catching in this dull place.” for a moment Sean visibly paused in confusion. 

"My green hair?" He asked with confusion written all over his face.

"Uh yeah…" Felix responded. Not sure why the other was questioning him. Sean let out a heavy sigh and ran a hand through that same hair. 

"If you're not joking then I might become a murderer by the end of the day." Sean started. Felix let out a nervous chuckle before the other began explaining what might have happened.

"I had asked a friend if she could make a hair appointment for me, since I get nervous doing it and, well if she was behind this…" he trailed off.

"It's… It's not bad, it looks nice." Felix comforted the male, upset that this so-called friend would do such a thing to the man.

"It was weird how people would come up to me and say they liked my hair. It explains it all now though,"

"I know it's not my place to speak but it was wrong of her to do such a thing," Felix looked at his cold coffee. An undertone of protectiveness was hidden in the comment.

"Oh, I'm sure it was just a mistake! She's quite nice and looks out for me a lot!" Sean defended. Felix felt his stomach curl in irritation. As the man took another sip of his cooled coffee, Felix calmed the feelings growing in his chest. It was ridiculous getting so worked up over the man.

"I don't want to sound pushy but," Sean faced Felix's direction, "What did you call me out here for? Not that it wasn't nice meeting someone new," Sean's hand came up to mess with the sunglasses he had on his face. The reality of the situation hit him hard. Guilt traveled up his spine as he looked at the man across from him. This was selfish. After all, it wasn't like he was the only one in the world that had lost their soulmate. He’s sure he could easily find people that have moved on from it, but…

“I’m… your soulmate.” Felix whispered out. His eyes carefully watched the other. A mix of happiness and confusion flashed over his features. His mouth opened for a moment before it closed again to reorganize his thoughts.

“I- I wanted to tell you when I saw you in my store but I was in shock,” Felix hoped the unevenness of his voice would help aid his story. Silence took over once more and as if Brandy could sense the tension, she sat up to look doe-eyed at her owner. A small nudge of her wet nose snapped the other back into reality. 

“I’m- I'm sorry. I'm just really happy,” Sean curled the arm that had the writing on it to his chest. A flushed pink spread on his cheeks as he quietly placed his hand on the table.

“It was irrational to think this, but I sorta never thought I would meet my soulmate because I'm blind…” Sean pulled the sleeve of his jacket up to show the writing to the Swedish man. The cute and intimate gesture made him want to throw up.

“I only wish we didn’t meet at my job,” Felix said, fake amusement in his voice. For the first time the Irish man let out a loud genuine laugh and the other smiled, his nerves eased up a bit. Sean pulled his sleeves down again and in a bold move he placed his hand out for the other to take hold of. Felix nervously looked at the outstretched hand before he placed his hand in the others grasp. It was a nice feeling, one he never thought he would experience.

“Meeting at a pet shop isn’t romantic, I can agree with that but… I don’t think a movie type meeting fits me,” Sean said, Brandy rubbing against her owner's leg as he spoke. “We should be thanking her. After all, if I would have never convinced myself to get a seeing-eye dog, I would have never walked into the store” Felix watched as the man's other hand came up and gave the dog a loving pat on her head.

“It’s a shame the words you had to live with were the words I was contracted to say,” Felix added on, trying harder to build a narrative of what he left off. 

“No hard feelings. After all, you had to live with my awkward reply on yer arm too.” Sean pointed out, laughing at the comedic aspect of the whole situation.

“I’m glad I finally found you! I just have a feeling we are going ta click.” Sean let a smile grace his lips again. Meanwhile, Felix pushed down more guilt with the room temperature coffee. Those words were meant for someone else. 

Things slowly began to flow out of them more naturally after that. Sean seemed more open and willing to talk than before. Felix could listen to the man talk for days. Stories and opinions were shared between the two men until eventually, their coffee cups contained no more liquid. 

“Ye don’t have to be anywhere? I’ve probably kept ye here longer than necessary,” Sean commented when Felix came back from discarding the cups. 

"I took the day off to come to see you," Felix said with a blush, "I don't have anything to do." 

"Thanks for doing that, I know how a job can be when people request days off," Sean commented.

"Don't worry about it, it was worth it," Felix said with a smile. Quietly, Sean got up and Brandy did too, ready to lead.

"When can we meet again?" Sean asked, visibly excited to meet the other again.

"Um, work is taking up some time right now but I can text you when I have time," Felix said, happy that his lie was put into motion. 

"I understand," was all the other said as Felix helped the other out of the café. The sky was still cloudy when they parted ways outside of the door with an awkward hug. With a smile and a soft look in his eyes, Felix walked home with his heart and shoulders feeling a little lighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked this chapter! We are so excited about these new stories and we are so glad that people are excited too. We never thought it would gain traction like this so quick. Thank you all so much! To many more chapters to come. -ST
> 
> Words in Swedish:
> 
> Jävla - Fuck


	3. THREE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix invites Mark over to hang out. Sean has breakfast with Felix and experiences jealousy for one of the first times.

The sound of boots smacking against the wet stone pavement filled Felix's ears as he walked back to his apartment from the cafe. The cloudy sky had erupted with rain, his hair sticking to his forehead and his pale skin going red from the cold. He needed the time to walk by himself and get drenched by the elements. Felix had to think to himself about what had happened with Sean. The man had gone through with his plan and it was a success. Now he didn't know what to do.

Felix was happy that he had the chance to be with Sean now. But how he got him to himself was what bugged him. Would Sean's attraction to him base itself off of the stigma that soulmates had to like each other? Or would it be authentic? The male fixed his eyes on his shoes as he walked, flickering between each foot and the stone path he was stepping on. 

Felix stepped inside the building and nodded at the man sat behind the front desk. He barely acknowledged him, just nodding back at him and putting his ball cap back over his eyes to go back to sleep. A murderer could run inside of the apartment building and kill them all and the man in the front would be none the wiser. 

He made his way to the small room that held mailboxes for the occupants, his eyes scanning over the chipped paint on the walls and the dirty wood under his feet. There was a large cage surrounding the metal boxes, protecting the invaluable objects inside. The man took his keys out and checked the box that read ”F. Kjellberg”.

Nothing. He had received nothing since his best friend moved to England. It made him feel a little lonely when he received absolutely zero letters or even junk mail. Felix just shook his head and sighed, opening the door to the stairwell.

Deciding to get in some cardio, the blonde ran up the stairs and stomped on each step on the way up. He liked staying in this stairwell more than he probably should. It had a nice echo for humming. The atmosphere was calm and quiet, perfect for when he needed to write in his journal for his therapist. His journal usually consisted of drawings of tattoo designs he wanted to get rather than words but his therapist didn't mind as long as he took a moment to relax every day.

Felix pushed the stairwell door open, desensitized to the deafening slam that sounded once the door closed behind him. The carpeted flooring of the hallway was dirty and disgusting as he made his way to his place. He hated being anywhere but inside of his quarters. It made him anxious and itchy. 

The Swede entered the dingy apartment he called home, his heart settling at the familiar surroundings. The male kicked his boots off and hung his jacket up. Felix wandered into his room and ran his fingers through his thick blonde locks. His bum collapsed onto his bed, shimmying into the blankets. He tried to keep his mind off of Sean for the first time that day but that wouldn’t be able to happen. The man’s phone dinged with the sound of a message coming through. It was a text from Sean, the emojis next to his name mocking how excited he was to be in contact with such a handsome guy.

_ I already miss you. _

_ Is that weird? I can’t wait to see you again. No pun intended. _

Felix let a little snort come from his nose, blushing at the unexpected sound of pure amusement. Sean was so adorable. The boy could not wait to crush his lips against Sean’s and never leave that position. His fingers tapped quickly against the screen, licking over his bottom lip and trying to keep from smiling too hard.

_ I miss you too. It’s definitely not weird. Maybe we can call tonight? _

He waited a few seconds, tapping his nails against the back of his phone. Sean agreed to call later, Felix promising he’ll text him later before opening another thread to his friend Mark. He invited the man over to play video games like they used to. They hadn't been able to hang out much since Mark moved to Brighton. He was so preoccupied with unpacking. 

Mark had hired workers to help him unpack while Felix was at work so the two never had the chance to hang out and unpack together. It had made the Swede a little upset when be realized Mark hadn't even given him a chance to help but he knew how stubborn the man could be so he decided to drop it and promise to help him decorate instead. 

Felix loved interior design. He had a passion for Japanese culture so most of his clothes and decor revolves around tech found in Tokyo. He spent most of his paychecks on the newest hoodie rather than food to eat. He never cared much about his health. He would rather impress his friends with his clothes than have a full stomach.

-

Felix jolted from his spot on the bed when a knock was heard, now adorning sweats and a t-shirt. He didn't bother dressing up for the man. They had been around each other half-naked and it wasn't awkward so looking like a bum would not be any different.

His sock-clad feet slid against the flooring as he jogged to the front of his house, swinging the door wide open and hugging Mark tight around the neck. He hadn't seen him in so long. The embrace was refreshing and everything he needed to get his mind off of Sean. 

”Hi! I missed your stupid face. How has your first week in Brighton been?” Felix spoke to his guest as they both walked to the lounge that held his gaming consoles and every other piece of entertainment he owned. The man could go days living in that one room and not get bored.

Mark followed after the blondie, rolling his eyes at his comment before plopping down on the couch and staring up at his friend. ”Really good, actually. I miss the sun in Los Angeles but now you and I are even closer and we can have our game nights off of Skype.” The gruff voice of the man came out joyful, his signature grin plastered across his face and lighting up his entire demeanor.

Felix loved his best friend more than anything. The man didn't even have to attempt at making the Swede happy. It just happened naturally as Mark existed. He couldn't wait for Mark to meet Sean.

An idea came crashing into Felix’s head followed by a question. He could tell Mark about his plan and that would ease his tension. But would his friend snitch on him? He knew how hard it was for Mark to lie. But maybe Felix was just overthinking as always. 

”I met someone. I never thought I would after what happened to Marzia. But he is so cute, Mark.” Felix started to gush, his cheeks already turning salmon with excitement. He ignored the skeptical look on his friend’s face and continued.

”His name is Sean. But he lets me call him Jack! We had a coffee date today and it was so adorable, Mark. He's blind and he has green hair and a dog named Brandy. He's Irish and his accent is  _ so  _ sexy. It's such a good change from all the English twats here.”

The man’s words came from him like it was vomit. He couldn't stop describing Sean like he was some God that had graced Felix with his presence. He sounded like a giddy little child that had his first-ever kiss. He would do so much to get to kiss Sean. 

”Felix.. Does he have a soulmate?” Mark’s word cut at Felix as the boy started up his Xbox and let a multiplayer game slide into the console. 

The blonde turned to his guest and sighed, his shoulders slouching as he handed one of the controllers over to him. ”Well… He thinks I'm his soulmate. I told him our tattoos are what we said when we met. At the pet store.” 

Not even a second passed by when Mark punched Felix on the shoulder and stared at him like he was the devil himself. The look on his face made Felix’s chest tighten and his fingers prickle with anxiety. Was he evil for this? Was this a horrible thing to do? 

Mark looked the most shocked he had ever looked before. The American wasn’t sure what to say. He was happy for Felix and proud that he found someone after his soulmate had passed but he was not proud of how he was doing it. His incredulous looks would be the one thing to make Felix unravel. He never wanted to make his best friend disappointed. 

The blonde rubbed over his shoulder and pouted as he went into the game menu and pressed play with his free hand. He was nervous to talk to Mark now. He was scared Mark would tell on him. As childish as that sounded. Felix felt like a teenage girl pining over a popular kid so thoughts like that fit right in. Felix shrugged and ran his fingers through his hair. That became one of his ticks. Playing with his hair.

“I don’t know what to say. He makes me really happy. It feels like someone fucked up and gave me the wrong soulmate. He seems like my actual soulmate, Mark. I’m not fuckin’ around.” His Swedish accent was a lot thicker now as he spoke with embarrassment and annoyance. Felix slurred his ‘s’ sounds and had more bite to his tone.

Mark immediately came down from his high on making Felix realize how fucked up he was, licking over his bottom lip as he contemplated how to approach the situation. He just sighed and pulled his friend into his chest. He could see the way the blonde’s eyes were watering and the way he started to shake as if he was about to cry. His hands massaged the Swede’s back, closing his eyes.

Felix refrained from crying on Mark, pinching his eyes closed and taking a big breath of air. He loved his friend but he could be an asshole sometimes. They pulled back and grabbed his controller, Mark doing the same. They spent the next couple hours flipping through games and forgetting all about the argument they had. Felix felt better now that they weren’t mad at each other. Before long, the two put their controllers down and started a movie.

They cuddled together on the slightly uncomfortable couch. He loved nights like this where he and Mark could just relax and forget about their responsibilities. Felix’s guest situated himself behind the blonde, his chest meeting the younger man’s back. Mark slung an arm over his waist and focused his vision on the television. His red-dyed hair fell over his eyes as he started to soften deeper and deeper into the cushions and his friend. 

This wasn't strange for the two men. The American was the straightest man to exist and Felix had his eyes set on a special Irish guy. It was normal for the two of them to relieve tension by cuddling and watching a stupid comedy before falling asleep whenever they would visit each other. At least one weekend a month would be dedicated to lounging around all-day when Felix would fly out to California to visit Mark. 

It was almost always the blonde getting on a plane to see his friend. Mark had an extreme fear of heights and planes so the flight would be nothing short of a painful hell for him. Felix was incredibly lucky when he was able to convince Mark to see him for the first time. As soon as the redhead touched down in Brighton, he fell in love. While he did love the loud, burning hot city of Los Angeles, the calm nature of England drew him in and encouraged him to stay forever.

Now the two could easily have their cuddle days without paying thousands of dollars. Instead of annoying Mark on facetime and Skype with his awful jokes and faux flirting, he could do that in person anytime he wanted.

-

The blonde startled awake when his phone started to ring unexpectedly, grabbing it from the dining table and seeing it was Sean. He looked behind him where Mark was laying down with him, sitting up and pulling Mark’s arm off from around his waist so he could answer the phone and not disturb his guest. He quickly clicked the answer button before putting the phone to his face and scooting away from Mark.

“Hey, Jacky. What are you up to?” 

“Fe! Why are ye whisperin’?” 

Felix chuckled softly at the question and glanced at his friend. He could scream and the man would still soundly sleep. But he just didn’t want to risk it. He explained that his friend was sleeping over and he had to be quiet, listening to the long pause before Sean mumbled a small “okay”. He decided to not think it was anything, scratching at his cheek and leaning back against the couch.

“Can we hang out tomorrow? We can go get breakfast somewhere.” Felix suggested and tapped his fingernails against his thigh, licking his bottom lip and raising his eyebrows as he waited for the man to answer. He felt his heart flutter whenever he heard Sean speak. It made him feel so good to talk with him after the emotional rollercoaster he and Mark had.

The older boy heard another pause, chewing on the inside of his cheek and standing up. He quickly placed a blanket over Mark before going into the kitchen and putting Sean on speaker as he made himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

The two boys spoke about dumb shit for the next hour, the clock ticking as he munched on his sandwich and some crisps. They bonded about past loves and good memories. Felix wore a smile on his face that he hadn’t sported in a long time. A feeling like this was strange but invited. But as soon as Sean had to hang up to sleep, Felix felt his smile diminishing and his heart getting shrouded over with the same self-hatred he had for himself every day. 

Felix dragged his feet as he walked back into where his friend slept, his eyes casting over him slowly. Mark knew of the blonde’s conditions but he didn't know a lot. He wasn't aware of the drugs he would partake in years ago. Or the scars from needles littering his body that refused to fade. No matter the newest, latest scar removal cream he shoved into his skin.

Mark knew nothing of the Swedish language so anytime Felix needed to verbally abuse himself around the man, he resorted to his mother tongue. He didn't find himself speaking in Swedish much around Sean but he knew that would change. He knew the second guilt started to engulf him, he would fall back into his roots.

”Jävla dumt rövhål. Jack kommer att ta reda på.” Felix berated himself, eyebrows turning into each other as he rambled in his mind about how dumb he was for the plan he set up. Sean will know eventually. No secret will ever be a secret forever. His plan will fall through and Felix will be rightfully fucked.

He contemplated whether he should cuddle back into Mark or sulk in his room away from his guest. Self-pity rained off of Felix as he walked into his bedroom, taking out his phone and hoping to ground himself with Sean’s messages.

The Swedish man scrolled through the thread of texts between him and the blind male he had met just this week. He was already falling hard and deep into Sean and he wasn't sure if that was positive or the worst decision of his life. Was he allowed to have nice things? Was it wrong to bring Sean into his world? 

Felix pushed open the mangled piece of wood he called his bedroom door and settled into his bed. The one piece of furniture he cared to perfect. The man fell asleep with many thoughts running through his head.

-

Felix scratched at his thigh as he sat outside of a restaurant under an umbrella. The business dealt with only breakfast. It was his favorite place to go when he was craving the most important meal of the day. His journal sat on the table in front of him, nibbling on his pen as he thought of what to draw or write. 

He wore a black long sleeve shirt tight to his skin under a white jersey that read ’RAISED’ on the back. It was his favorite shirt combo he had come up with in quite a while. On his legs, he had plain black skinny jeans that hung a little loose in some parts. Felix tapped his black chunky Balenciaga shoes on the concrete sidewalk from where he sat, doodling a naked lady and a skeleton together. 

His red shoulder bag sat next to him on the floor, the strap of the satchel entwined with the chair leg to prevent anyone from stealing the bag without him knowing. The Swede had an espresso martini on his side of the table and a plain black coffee where Sean would sit. Just how he likes it.

Felix looked up quickly when he felt a presence approach his table, having texted Sean that they would be eating outside. He looked down at Brandy and grinned happily, waving a little at the pup. He was scared to touch her. The man knew she was working and didn't want to distract her but she was so cute. The pet led Sean over to where the blonde sat, Felix quickly standing up.

”Jack! Hey, dude.” Felix greeted his love interest, hugging him softly and kissing his cheek before helping him get to the chair. He let the male know he got him a coffee already, letting his fingers linger on Sean’s back before going to sit on his side. Brandy sat at their feet and looked around attentively. 

Sean looked so handsome. Felix had to stop himself from drooling over his bices and veins peeking through the skin in his hands as he found the cup and took a sip.

”Calling your soulmate dude, hm? That really gets my willy stiff. How was your sleepover?” Sean asked as he placed a hand on his chin. Although he couldn't see him, the male made sure to look like he was intently listening. There was a slight edge to his voice and Felix could tell. He wasn't sure why but he decided to rule it off as nothing to be worried about. 

”It was really good! Mark and I watched a video and slept on the couch for a little bit but then I moved to my room because I didn't want to wake him up by getting back on the couch.” A chuckle left Felix’s lips as he explained what happened last night. He hoped Sean didn't get too interested in knowing about Mark. He wasn't sure if he wanted them to meet yet. 

After ordering their food, the two feasted as they made jokes and laughed together. He felt full around him. Felix was happy Sean didn't see his journal, as bad as that sounded. He hated having to explain why it was with him and what was inside. The blonde pulled out his phone slyly and took a picture of Sean as he laughed, blushing and setting the new capture as his lock screen. While he was committing the action, he got a text from Mark asking him how his date was going. Sean heard his tapping and looked up from where he was putting a buttered piece of toast in his mouth.

”Who are ye textin’, silly?” 

”Oh, just Mark. He's asking how we're doing. I said we're doing great.” 

Sean nodded and felt his nose twitch with annoyance. Who was this Mark kid and why did Felix always talk to him? It was making him jealous and he wasn't sure why. He wasn't usually the jealous type. Not with pointless things like an innocent friendship, anyway. But this was his soulmate. Felix was his and it made his primal instincts buzz unhappily.

Sean finished his food and placed down the money he owed to the meal, using an app on his phone to help him with what bill was what. Felix did the same, a smile on his face as he stood from the table and grabbed his journal and satchel from the floor. 

”This was really fun, Jack. I had a lot of fun just talking with you.”

”Me too, Fe. I'll call you later, yeah? Bye, love.”

Sean kissed him on the very corner on Felix’s lips. It wasn't quite a kiss but it had enough substance to make the Swede stare with his mouth wide open as Sean turned and walked away from him. He was getting closer to what he daydreamed about and it was making the blonde tingle with pride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading the new chapter for Seeing You! Our updating schedule will be every Sunday unless we are super busy. Make sure to go watch 'Chase' on Jack's channel, babies. -C
> 
> Words in Swedish:
> 
> Jävla dumt rövhål. Jack kommer att ta reda på. - Fucking stupid asshole. Jack will find out.


	4. four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix has a panic attack at work. Sean proposes another date.

Felix jerked awake to the sound of his alarm. The first thing he laid eyes on was the cracked ceiling that hung over his head. His eyes blinked rapidly in an attempt to combat the urge he had to fall asleep again. His hand reached out blindly to swipe his phone off of the bedside counter to turn off the annoying ringing that filled his room. With a tap, the alarm was dismissed and the silence of the early morning was forever interrupted.

Felix hated his morning shifts at his work with a passion. Sadly, he could only blame himself for agreeing to take them. Subconsciously, he knew that he would have been stuck with them anyway since his other colleagues were currently taking university classes. With a groan to both the thought of being in university and the fact that he had to get ready, he ran a hand through his hair in defeat. He really did want to finish his basics at some point. He had already made many mental lists of excuses for why he hadn't turned in an application to deter his prying peers.

He sat on the obnoxiously comfortable bed for a moment and added to the already growing list of why he couldn’t attend university. It was too expensive right now, he didn’t have the time, he hadn't found the right place to go, and he had no means of transportation. Unless he wanted to ride his bike every day. It made his gut curl as he continued to picture himself sitting in a room with other students. 

His momentary breakdown was cut short once he felt his phone vibrate next to him. It lit his face with a bright light to show notifications and reminders he never got around to deleting. He halfheartedly glanced back to look at what it was. As his anxiety dropped down he closed his eyes and thought about what he needed to do for the day. Work was his first task and he knew Sean was second after, realistically he would be first but money was very important to him at the moment. He had taken some days off, therefore his check would have taken a hit for it. He still needed enough in the bank to pay rent for that month.

When he glanced at his phone he saw he only had about an hour before he had to arrive at the store to open and set everything up. The substantial gap before he had to leave for work gave him the opportunity for a long soak before he had to stand on his feet for many hours. It was exactly what he needed. With a clear conscious, he gathered a plain outfit to change into after his shower and made his way to the bathroom. As he made his way to the other room he looked around at the mess he had created. Embarrassment hit his chest. He realized how much he didn't care for himself since before meeting Sean. The overflowing trash bin and thrown around clothes showed him a reality he didn’t wish to go back to.

" _ Fan _ , I'll clean up when I get back from work," Felix mumbled to himself as he closed the bathroom door and started up the steaming water.

-

Felix had arrived at the store with 20 minutes to spare before he had to open. His routine demanded he walked through the aisles to make sure nothing was out of place. Face the shelves and make the quaint shop presentable. His coworkers did a fairly good job of reorganizing things during the evening. With his bike already put in its usual stop, he reached into his jeans and fished out the keys. They jiggled around in his pocket as he grabbed them, making an annoying clunking noise that stung his ears. He only ever had three keys on it at a time so it wasn't hard to identify which key opened the store. The key belonging to the store was dulled after constant use, the silver layer rubbed off left the key an ugly bronze color. The notches and teeth of the key had also lost their edge to them, leaving them perfectly smooth. Felix wondered how long it would take before they were useless.

The man slid in the key and twisted until he heard a small click. With a push he opened the door, the closed sign swinging with the motion. The morning light was enough for him to see around the store so instead of turning on the lights, he immediately walked into one of the aisles of pet food to do his walkthrough. Besides, it was a lot more relaxing than the blinding fluorescents. He scanned through the rows, making sure the price tags matched the brand name. As he went farther down the dog food aisle he noticed the spike increase in the prices. He thought of Sean and Brandy. The Swede wondered if Sean was the type to only buy the most top quality for their dog. No matter how expensive. Surely that was the case since his dog meant so much to him.

He continued on his duty, only having had to rearrange a handful of items. Restocking the register was next. They kept only a few rolls of money after each day in preparation for the next. Felix had never worked another job before and he wasn't sure that's how it was done but that's what the manager wanted so it was what he would do to keep his position and not anger his boss.

The money was kept in a small box that opened to the same key as the store did. Only two people had the key to the store so If money was ever missing, it was easy to know who the culprit might be. Once he had fetched the money from the back room he went to put it inside the register. The clock on the wall told him it was time to open by the time he had finished the sorting of bills. Quickly, he walked over to the front to turn the lights on and promptly turn the closed sign over to read WE ARE OPEN. Felix noticed a young boy with his mother waiting patiently outside with a puppy. He smiled at the cute sight of the boy playing with the dog as he waited for the store to open.

"Hello," he greeted the two with a small smile. The woman replied with a small hello while the boy and dog made their way to a random aisle, the mother following closely behind to spectate. Felix chuckled at the sight. Young kids and animals were a cute scene he could often see thanks to the job. As he let the door go, he walked to the supply room to busy himself with the truckload of stock they had recieved the night before. Once again not much was needed to be accounted for. The other workers usually handled it since late in the afternoon is when most things needed to be restocked anyway. 

As he stepped out of the room he saw the woman and boy approach the counter. The kid nervously placed a dog toy up on the counter. Felix scanned it quickly and handed it back to the boy who immediately took it back. The women giggled and handed him money for the item and soon enough they were back out of the store, ready to continue their day. 

After that encounter time had begun to pass by slowly. Not very many people usually came into the shop. They mostly had regular customers that would stop by weekly for food and such. His coworker for the day hadn't arrived either. They had called in last-minute saying they had an early morning test for school and would be staying later once he finished it. Felix didn't mind the lonely work. It was a good change of pace even if it was boring. He found himself randomly cleaning things for distraction or simply sitting in the breakroom on his phone or finally organizing the sugar packets. 

When noon rolled around, he had exhausted every way to distract himself. The male had spent hours cleaning. The store had never looked better. A good handful of customers had walked in and he even had some decent conversations with a few regulars. The two hours he had left on his shift seemed like they would easily fly pass. He stood at the cash register, his hands leaning on the counter for comfort as he watched some people shop. He didn't want to be on his phone during work so it was kept snug in his pocket like usual.

The chiming of the door opening was what ripped his attention way. As the door swung wide, it revealed a petite young lady, probably in her early 20's. She had on a simple flowy dress and her hair was curled at the ends, draping over her shoulder. She was pretty and, subconsciously, Felix found his cheeks feeling rather hot. She looked around with confusion for a moment. Her hands played with the rings that were on her fingers as she walked up to the cash register. Her flats tapped against the tile floor. They matched the color of her dress. She licked her lips as if she was thinking of what to say.

"Hello, is there something I can help you with?" Felix asked the lady. As he looked at her he felt guilty how attractive he thought she was. A familiar knot formed in his stomach. The lady relaxed a bit as she formed her words.

"Ah, well I came in a few days ago to look for a specific food brand for my cat, you didn't have it but one of the other workers said he could order it in for me…" She trailed off her explanation. She was shyly looking around and in this gloomy town, he found it odd that she had made it this far. Her presence reminded him of Sean in a way and it made the knot tighten even more. On top of that, her appearance vaguely looked like Mariza. It was starting to make Felix feel like everything around him was caving in.

"I can look in the back for you. What's the name under?" He said, slightly rushed. He didn't want to upset the woman. She looked like an easily frightened deer standing in front of him but he also desperately wanted to get out of her sight.

"Eva Mason," she spoke. Her eyes settled now that Felix knew what she wanted. Felix nodded and waved a hand to her to wait a moment before he scrambled to the back to find what she had come for. He pushed the door open a bit harder than he had expected. 

Once enclosed in the room, he leaned against the door to calm himself. The woman's face was stuck in his mind, bringing back old memories he wished he could erase. It always stung his heart when he thought of Marzia, but this time it hurt so bad he placed a hand over his chest to remind him it was all just in his mind. It felt like a betrayal to Sean. Why was he stealing Sean away from his true soulmate if a random pretty woman could make him clam up so easily? He hated himself and for a moment it reminded him of when he had first turned to drugs to cope with Marzia's death. He didn’t deserve the Irish man.

He felt dirty. Like there was a layer of dirt that covered his skin and he couldn't get it off of himself. Things were going so well today, Felix sarcastically thought to himself. Of course, with his luck, he would be stuck with the nagging recollections of his past. He didn't deserve to have Sean, not when he's gone and made his life a mess with a barrage of lies. The green-haired man didn’t even know. As he looked around the room filled with boxes, plastic toys, and pet food the male dreaded having to leave the safe confines of it. The room was away from the outside world. He wanted to stay here until he forgot about everyone in his life. But that was not very professional.

From behind the door, he heard some shuffling and some voices talking. He thought about the girl once more and realized that him hiding in the storage room wasn't going to make her go away any faster. He saved himself the self-deprecation for later. The knob to the door jiggled before it opened. The door bumped into his back as it opened to reveal the coworker that was arriving late.

“Hey, the lady told you you went back here to get the cat food she ordered. Are you okay? you look a bit sick?” They came up to face him.

“Well... Yeah. I felt a bit unsteady while looking for her order so I stopped to catch my breath,” Felix said, it was half of the truth.

With a nod, the other left to find the lady’s correct order.

“If you feel ill you should take an early leave. It won’t hurt. Plus, you only have like two hours left,” they looked around at the room’s items before they continued, “and it looks like you did most of the work for us. You should head home!” The other urged with a smile. Felix didn’t need much thought before he replied.

“I think I will,” with that he found himself turning to leave.

“Leave the key in the break room. I think Samuel is going to open tomorrow,” Felix nodded his head as he rushed out of the room. His eyes were glued to the ground as he quickly took the store key off his key ring. He placed the key on the counter and glanced at the women stood at the counter waiting for her order. A line had already grown behind her. She looked anxious to get out of the store. As he walked to the door she looked at him once more, guilt moving up his spine as his cheeks reddened again.

“Just a little longer. The other person that just clocked in is grabbing it for you,” Felix said with half his body already out the door. She nodded twice to confirm she understood. With his key ring still in hand, he moved out of the building to unlock his bike from its place by the back. The bike lock was placed snugly in his apron before he hopped on the bike to leave as fast as he could. He wanted to be anywhere else but there.

As the man took off down the sidewalk he took in a fresh breath of air. It was stuffy inside the pet shop. The polluted air of Brighton had his lungs feeling like it was his first inhale ever. For a while, Felix just peddled down the road, not really having a destination in mind. He wanted to crawl back under his covers but that meant going back to his dirty apartment. Moreover, the neighbor across from his was always his most annoying self during this time and he didn’t wish to deal with that. 

“Maybe, I could get a drink…” Felix thought to himself. The thought hadn’t crossed his mind since he moved to the city. In fact, the dates with Sean were one of the first times he had actually gone out of his house for pleasure since he moved to Brighton. 

When he looked up at the place he had settled into he saw many people walking and kids playing with others. The park seemed so open that it made Felix grip his handlebars tighter. The carefree people reminded Felix why he had restrained himself from drinking. It was the liquid courage that started his downward spiral into substance abuse. He had always blamed it on his Swedish side for his taste of alcohol but when his family saw the mood shifts he was going through it was a reality check he needed. He stopped under a tree as he remembered the nights he would spend in bars, racking up the bill and acting aggressively towards the people he drank with.

He also remembered when he first hurt himself when he was drunk. Through the fuzzy haze of beer running through him, he stared a little too long at the tattooed of words on his skin. His hand came to place itself over his sweater covered arm at the thought. He looked at the letters all night after he had gone drinking. he lit a cigarette he had bought the day before and before he knew what he was doing, he was trying to burn the writing on his skin. It never seemed to work though. Even after he lit up many other cigarettes, the words were always still legible after the scabs went away.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. In confusion, he reached in to pull it out of where it rested for the past couple hours. His heart squeezed as he saw it was a simple "what are you doing" text from Sean. 

How could he have forgotten in his panic that he now had someone waiting for him? For a moment it seemed to be too much to handle. A smile crept onto his lips as he thought of the other man. Even if his love for the man was guilt ridden, Felix knew he wouldn't mind living with it if Sean could just keep looking at him. The turmoil would never subside but he could learn to live with it if his heart would stop breaking at any mention of Marzia or his failed love life. Sean would fit it he could mend his heart back together. 

Without much thought, Felix knew he had to see Sean right away. For his sanity if anything at all. Another lump formed in his throat.

_ I just got out of work. Would you mind meeting up? If you're free of course. _ Felix texted. Having new hope for the man. It couldn't have been a coincidence that he had texted right when Felix was about to go wander off into his old life again. As he waited for a reply, he once again looked around the park he stumbled into. He hadn't been down this part of the town. This was more of the family district since a school was located not far from the part. At first, he found sadness every time he came down here and saw a family walking about their day. But now with Sean it felt like he could finally be a part of the community here. He too could walk around with the other people who had perfect lives. He watched some kids play tag until his phone vibrated once again to signal he received a reply.

_ I'm glad you got out early. Work can be a hassle and since you just got out you wouldn't mind doing something laid back with me right? _

_ Of course not. Everything is fun with you! _

_ Great because a movie at my house seems like fun to me… _

Felix paused for a moment after reading that sentence, Sean seemed to read his mind because before he could text back another message popped in.

_ Before you ask, they have movies for blind people. They just say what the characters are doing. _

Felix flushed to himself as he read the explanation. He didn't know it was that rough to be blind.

_ Lol, I wasn't going to ask that… but yes a movie date sounds like what I need. I'm going to change out of my work clothes and then I'll be over! Address? _

With a smile, Felix sent the text and slipped the phone back into his pocket. He needed to head off to his house direction. He would look it up later because no matter how far it was he would get to it as fast as he could. His mood felt completely different as he rolled out of the park. 

His crazy neighbor wouldn't even be able to bring his mood down. Unless he asked him about the basket he's convinced Felix stole from him. 

(Which he did but to be fair it had been sitting outside his door for ages with other random objects. Felix’s laundry basket broke and he couldn't get a new one so he took the chance. Don’t blame the poor man.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy early birthday to my boy Felix. A year closer to your mid life crisis <3 xoxo
> 
> Words in Swedish:  
Fan - Fuck


	5. FIVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix goes to Sean's house and hangs out with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy (almost) Halloween everyone!

Felix stood in front of Sean’s front door. He had been talking to himself for the past five minutes, trying to give himself confidence. His efforts of trying to combat the nerves of knocking on the door were short-lived. He smoothed down the front of his long sleeve shirt before raising his right-hand knuckles and giving the wood in front of him three loud taps. The male hoped to God that Sean did not see him waiting outside his door like a creep.

Felix decided to take the time to observe his surroundings. The home was a dull tan color that sported chipped siding and a roof that desperately needed to be redone. He was a bit surprised that Sean lived inside of an actual home. Everyone seemed to claim apartments as their living grounds and never branched out to larger complexes.

His porch was shockingly tidy for a person that didn't know if something was clean or not. It was lined with Halloween decorations and littered with fake spider webs and plastic spiders. A few pre-carved pumpkins were sat at the very corners by the stairs that led to the door. Felix could appreciate someone who enjoyed decoration even if they couldn't appreciate it themselves. The 31st of October had always been Felix’s favorite day. He loved the month because it owned his birthday and his favorite holiday. He almost wondered why Sean even bothered to decorate.

Within a minute or two of his observances, the door was swung wide open and his eyes traveled between Brandy, sat obediently at Sean’s side, and the way Sean’s thighs looked in the tight grey sweats he wore. Did he have anything underneath those? He wondered how lucky his eyes would get if he decided boxers weren’t necessary that day.

”Hey, prince. You look really handsome. Your hair seems so much lighter now.” Felix let a hand outstretch to run gently through Sean’s locks. Instead of the neon color he saw when he first met the man, it was now a dull cucumber green with brown roots that matched the shaved sides of his head. The dye seemed to fade so quickly.

The pallid skin of Sean’s cheeks flushed just a bit in reaction to the comment. He grinned and snatched Felix’s hand, his fingertips moving over the knuckles and tendons the Swede owned. The touch was rough from the male’s callouses. Did he play the guitar? Or maybe he played the drums? That was a very attractive thought that Felix shared with himself. Luckily Sean could not see his arousal if any tents began to rise.

Sean’s shaded eyes seemed to look off to the floor below them as he messed with his hand, his head hanging low. Felix’s hands were soft. He used copious amounts of lotion and made sure his nails were manicured and cut to perfection. The male played guitar but not as often to get rough skin. He wanted to feel good to Sean. Although he slightly regretted his decision. The feeling of the Irishman’s touch was more than satisfying to experience. 

“Ye’re too sappy, Fe.” Sean let out an exasperated chuckle and threaded their fingers together, picking his head back and walking back into his home. He was very familiar with the house so Brandy wasn't of much use to him. She got to be a relaxed, lazy dog as she was born to be. It made Felix proud to see Sean navigating so effortlessly. Once the front door was closed and locked, the two men made their way into Sean’s living room.

The space was quite dull. There were a few photographs and chairs to relax on but it seemed to lack life. The walls were a creamy gray color, blending perfectly into the gray wood underneath their feet. Sean’s entire theme seemed to be neutral colors. He wondered if the male knew what a neutral color was. What they looked like and the vibe they gave off.

Inside was different than what he had seen outside. There were no decorations for the approaching holiday or anything that gave the interior any character. It made him a little sad to see how bland his life looked to people who could see. But Felix couldn't blame him. He didn't have any reason to own colorful decor inside of his home. And the male didn’t mind. Sean was everything but bland.

His eyes roamed down to the carpet placed in the middle of the room. It was exceptionally fuzzy and had not a single spot of dirt or food hidden in the layers of fluff. The piece of decor was a bright white so his discovery was rather surprising. How could it be so clean? It reminded the male to slip off his black chunky shoes and lay them neatly next to the couch and out of Sean’s walkway. He would rather die than make the male trip.

Felix would be sure to decorate his house beautifully for when Sean got his sight back. If he ever did. The Swede wondered if his potential lover would ever consider eye surgery. The advancements of modern technology gave a high chance for blind people to gain their sight back.

The lights were off and a few bowls full of snacks were placed on the surface of the living room table. The only source of clarity was pouring through the half-shaded windows situated around the room. Felix watched as his host pulled out his phone. His fingers swiped across the screen, the speakers emitting labels for each app he was skimming across. Camera. Instagram. Grindr. Photo to Speech. 

”Here are some snacks... Popcorn, sweets, and cookies. According to this thing.” Sean mumbled as his phone read off what it was seeing. It was a little entertaining how vague some of the descriptions were. Felix observed the boy as he brought his phone up to face his guest. He listened carefully to what the phone had to say about how he looked.

”Caucasian male with blonde hair and blue eyes.”

That was astonishingly accurate. Felix wondered what kind of technology the app uses to get such descriptions. The other smiled softly, almost small enough to be written off as nothing but his common detached expression. It was almost like Sean was taking a second to picture what his guest looked like. How he sat on the couch before him and what kind of details he had to his face.

Without even a sliver of hesitation, the blonde scooted closer to his company and placed a hand on his thigh. ”You can feel my face if you want to, ” the male started his sentence with confidence but that was soon diminished, ”I-I mean… I know that's kind of weird but like… If you wanted to feel what I look like.” 

Sean just shushed the rambling with a tap to the knee before moving his hand up to where he assumed his face started. The green-haired boy used both hands to cup his lover’s cheeks. The touch was so entirely wholesome and affectionate that it immediately caused his heart to start pumping faster than what was normal. Sean’s right-handed slender index finger trailed the affection up to his cheekbone. 

The scratchy texture of his stubble was the first thing Sean noticed. The way his thin beard cut off at the half mark of his face and drifted into a mustache and goatee. A devilish smirk rested on his face as he softly plucked at one of the beard hairs, eliciting a slight squeak from Felix as well as a slap on the thigh. 

”Hey. My face is sensitive. Keep it PG.” 

Sean ignored his comment and continued his exploration of the man’s features. His fingertips ghosted over his forehead and relished in the smoothness of his skin. He imagined a handsome pale man with golden hair staring back at him as he was consensually violated.

Felix was nervous for his beau to get to his nose. He had never liked that feature of his. His mother had always been adamant on suggesting surgery and anyone who had a problem with him took it as an easy hit to his ego. But once his host tapped his nail against the tip before leaning in to kiss it, his worries melted away. The soft-touch of his lips was a ferocious contrast to his fingers.

His cheeks got the next kiss from the male, gripping his chin harshly as he laid a smooch on both sides of his face. Felix moved even closer to Sean, placing his arms around his neck and happily enjoying every second of their embrace. He wasn't sure what would come next but Sean was definitely taking the lead.

The Swede had always been the dominant one in relationships. With every girl and boy he had flings with, he was never vulnerable or a bottom. He was invariably the top in any situation. Felix realized how boring and suffocating it had felt after his most recent hookup. A boy named Brad had been sat next to him at a bar, talking him up and making advances. Every sign pointed to the male being a dominant soul but once the two hit the sheets it was apparent that was not the truth.

The everlasting relief of finally being led and taken care of was astounding to him. He didn't realize how badly he needed it. 

Sean moved his fingers to the last part of his mug, his lips. The wetness of the pink flesh was what made the male’s smirk widen. He could tell how badly Felix wanted to be embraced. The short, quick breaths also gave it away. Once he had a good idea of what they looked like and where they were positioned, Sean started to lean in.

Their lips pressed together in a delicate kiss. Felix felt a thumping in his heart that refused to subside. It was like a drum had found its way into his chest and glued itself to his organs. He closed his eyes quickly, trying to avoid pushing at Sean’s sunglasses that still rested on his nose. The slick sounds of their mouths dancing together played in his ears, making his arm hairs stand on edge and his skin litter with bumps.

Sean’s hands roamed to the back of Felix’s head, digging his fingers deep into his blonde locks and tugging just the slightest. He was happily rewarded with a whine and the tightening of the male’s hold on him. It was very satisfying to experience how responsive he was. If only he could see his face while he did it.

Felix pulled away once he couldn't take any more air out of his lungs to breathe. He was hesitant in his movements. The boy wanted nothing more than to stay in the moment of kissing Sean but he couldn’t accomplish that if he died from asphyxiation. The green-haired man bit his lip harshly before tugging his sunglasses off and setting them next to his leg. 

The blonde noticed how Sean’s eyes twitched ever so slightly. He wondered if the boy could feel that or if his eyes were numb. Felix was truly ignorant when it comes to situations like that. He was so entirely terrified that he would do or say something offensive and make Sean angry with him. 

The color of his eyes were light greyish-blue and his pupils were shrouded by the phantom of silver. Felix raised his hand and took his turn to touch Sean. He made contact with the skin by his eyes and felt a shiver run through his love. He wasn’t the only responsive one it seemed. The blonde was glad that his host was so comfortable around him. He could tell the boy didn’t take off his sunglasses for anyone so it made him feel extremely special and loved.

Felix was so glad that he had met Sean. He had never been with a person that was so receptive and quick to be comfortable around him. But was that because he was lying to him about being his soulmate?

“I’ll be back, babe. One more kiss before I go take a whiz.” He pecked the green-haired man softly on the mouth before standing from where he was comfortably settled on the couch. He missed the way his bum sank into the squishy cushions. And he hated how Sean patted where he had been sat with a frown. It was cute how he already missed him. 

The boy walked down the long corridor that led off to four different rooms. A guest bedroom, Sean’s room, a bathroom, and a lounge. He could see it from where he was standing next to his destination. It looked like a room filled with sensory objects. Things to make Sean not as sense deprived.

He noticed a wall full of fluffy teddy bears and a curtain of different colored beads that caught light and made a clinking plastic sound when someone walked through them. Felix wasn't close enough to see anything else in the room. He decided against snooping.

“Be fast. Want you to come back already.” Felix could hear the sweet boy down the hall from him, smiling to himself at how cute he sounded.

Felix decided not to respond, already in his head and spiraling into an overwhelming pit of guilt. What was he doing? He was in Sean’s home, in his hallway, but it felt like he was inside of his own mind. Sitting in a room of white by himself.

It was almost like he was thrown inside of an insane asylum and given no resources to live. He was to fend for himself and deal with the results. He knew they would be nothing but negative if he was to continue the self hatred path he had begun to walk.

The boy walked inside the bathroom and closed the door behind him. There was no mirror inside of the bathroom. That was understandable. Why would he bother with a mirror when he couldn’t see himself anyway? The boy firmly placed his hands on the sink, scratching his nails against the white ceramic material. Felix scrunched his nose at the disgusting sound it created. He berated himself harshly, needing to ground his mind and tug it back down to the insecure cave he was accustomed to.

“Du är så självisk, Felix. Han vill bara att du eftersom du ljög för honom, du dåre.”

What was he doing? Why was he doing this to a guy he barely knows? Although Sean did make him feel amazing and so very special, it seemed like a sin. With one glance back at the hall that guided him back to the Irishman he realized he didn’t care about all that. He just wanted to be with the person he felt good with. Everything else was trivial. He knew Sean wasn't lying to him about liking him back. But was he into him because he thought he was his soulmate? 

Or was it genuine?

Felix pulled his hands from his face and walked back out of the bathroom and down the corridor, his sock-clad feet smacking against the wooden floor as he went back to Sean. His mind started to quiet down. The incriminating thoughts ceased to exist, being overcome by adoration for the boy waiting patiently for Felix to return. The blonde sat back down on the couch, placing his hand on Sean’s thigh to signal he was back next to him.

”Hey. Let's get this thing goin’. Show me the crazy world of narrated movies.”

The two relaxed on the couch together with the soft sound of the female narrator ringing in their heads. It was strange watching a movie with underlying speaking. The way she described the scenes. She spent extremely long on the actors’ appearances and their body language. The way they moved and their expressions. If it helped Sean then he didn't mind the narrations. 

Felix let out a breathy gasp as he was pulled into his lover’s side, looking up and catching a small smile on his face. It was cute how he had trailed his hand around his shoulder to make sure he was pulling the right body part before he made his move. The butterflies in Felix’s stomach roared to life as he was being given attention. It made him feel unbelievably incredible. Probably more than he deserved to feel. The Swede turned and nuzzled into the green-haired man’s side, his cheek resting on his chest.

The male’s blue eyes gazed at the television screen as he slung an arm around the host’s stomach. He had never been this intimate with someone without it being sexual. Events like these always turned into something unspeakable by the end of the night. He was extremely relieved that Sean wasn't trying to find his way into his pants. Although the other probably didn't even know where his pants began.

”I want ye to come with me to the hospital tomorrow. I'm thinkin’ of getting surgery for my eyes. Do ye think that’s a good idea, Fe?” Sean spoke with confidence, his chest vibrating against the blonde’s cheek with each syllable being spoken. It was satisfying to feel how warm he was along with the pounding of his heartbeat and the reverberation of his speech. Felix was glad he had brought up the surgery before he had to awkwardly ask himself.

Felix looked up at him and nodded quickly with a grin slapped onto his face so hard that it made his cheeks ache. Those very cheeks heated uncomfortably as he realized the man couldn't see his movements and probably thought he was being ignored. He really needed to stop doing that. 

”Yeah! That sounds good. I get to know all the juicy medical details.”

Sean just let out an amused huff, shaking his head at the comment before taking Felix by the chin and kissing him happily. He had rubbed his index finger over his lips before he connected them to make sure he wasn’t just leaning in to kiss his eyeball or wherever else. Sean pulled away before anything too serious came out of the innocent pecks. 

-

Felix woke up from his nap with a start, glancing around the room and determining he was not inside of his disgusting apartment. Instead, he was pressed into his crush’s chest. His face was shoved into his neck and his body was held down by Sean’s arms. They had somehow passed out together. The boy could barely remember the moment when he closed his eyes. 

With a soft kiss on the nose, he slipped out of his arms and stood up straight with his feet planted on the carpet below them. He yanked his shoes onto his feet and gave the sleeping man on the couch a little smile. He would miss him once he went home. But it was already almost midnight and Felix still had to finish written tasks at his home for his workplace.

“Goodnight, Jacky boy. See you tomorrow.” He almost whispered to himself, too nervous to disturb the gorgeous human. The Swede would hate to wake him up and make him irritated.

Felix turned on his heel and left the home, making sure to engage the doorknob lock so no one could get inside Sean’s home. He got on his bike and started his ride back to his apartment. The man really hated how negligent he had been with bringing a coat. His consequence was to ride home in the chilly wind with nothing but darkness and dim street lights.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words in Swedish:
> 
> Du är så självisk, Felix. Han vill bara att du eftersom du ljög för honom, du dåre. - You are so selfish, Felix. He just wants you because you lied to him, you fool.


	6. six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sean and Felix go to the eye doctor.

In the morning Felix found himself jolted awake by his alarm for the second day in a row. He hadn’t been sleeping very well so his reactions were more sensitive. With an annoyed groan, he let his hands wander over to his phone to shut off the screeching noise. He laid in bed lifeless. His eyes blinking every so often to adjust to the light beaming through the window. He briefly wondered why he had set an alarm off at such an early hour. Even in his bed, he could tell by the lighting that it was far too early to be up, even if he had the morning shift at work today he would never wake up when the sun was barely peeking over the horizon.

As last night’s memories came back to him he rubbed his face in slight annoyance. He knew he agreed to accompany Sean to the doctor but still, getting up at such an hour made Felix want to roll over and sleep instead.

When Sean texted him about the details of today's events after he had left the night before, Felix asked what was the need to go to the eye doctor at such an early time.

_ I go to a special eye doctor so it's a bit of a trip to get there, plus I hate the waiting room. It makes me feel anxious waiting there for so long. _

Felix rubbed his face once more and smacked his lips at the morning breath he could taste on his mouth. He was more awake now. He pulled his phone up to his face to check his notifications and the time. He only had some video posts from YouTube along with some new tweets from twitter. He half-heartedly looked over them, swiping them clear before he sat up to brush his teeth.

Once he had the toothbrush in his mouth, he clicked through his phone and shot Sean a good morning text. He received a reply when he leaned down to spit the toothpaste out.

_ Mornin' to you too, babe. I hope ye ain't too tired. You went home late and I made ye get up early~ _

Felix smiled at the concerned tone he felt through the text. He sent back an "it's okay" then tossed his phone onto his unmade bed before he began changing. If he was honest, he did feel alright, the only hard part about getting up in the morning was the actual getting up part. Plus, he has the habit of going to bed later than 12. Back when he was in Sweden he would be plagued by awful nightmares that had him not sleeping for days.

He pushed away those thoughts as he slipped into the kitchen. With his mind on autopilot, he made himself a quick bowl of cereal. He convinced himself that he was eating the sweet bowl as a time saver not because he didn't have the means to make anything else.

"Maybe I'll buy some eggs and make an actual breakfast tomorrow," Felix thought out loud as he moved back into his room, bowl in hand.

For the next twenty minutes, he sat on his bed eating cereal, a random YouTube video playing on his phone while he half watched it. He was too busy enjoying the peace that filled the air to really pay attention so he shut his phone off. It was the morning quietness he never really got to enjoy. He always either slept in or found himself rushing out the door during these early hours. It was a different change of mood that he could only thank Sean for.

Felix didn't text Sean he was on his way till he had forced himself to drink the milk in the bowl. He didn't have the money to be fucking wasting milk every day. He left his apartment silently and went down to grab his bike to head to Sean’s house. Sean had told him he could leave his bike at his house to make sure it wouldn't get stolen.

The ride to Sean house was rather uneventful. Felix had found himself entranced by the quietness of the outside. The morning light wasn't blocked by the gray clouds. It was the natural warm colors he hadn't seen in a while. Since meeting Sean he found himself admiring certain scenes more than the others around him. All the colors and sights seem to have been taken for granted and it seemed a bit unfair to Felix that Sean of all people should be stripped of that privilege.

This appointment at the eye doctors had him hope that maybe one day in the future he could share the sights like these with the other.

-

"Are you sure you don't mind not taking Brandy?" Felix asked. He looked back at the other’s house with worry in his brows.

"Ye, she will be fine on her own, plus this gives me an excuse to hold your hand." Sean laughed as he reassured the other. Their hands were intertwined as Felix helped guild the other to their lyft.

"It's not like you need a reason in the first place," Felix mumbled. By the chuckle he heard behind him he knew the other heard his comment. He opened the car door and shot the driver a hello before he rushed Sean into the car first.

The drive itself wasn't exciting or very awkward thanks to Sean. He was quite good at keeping conversation flowing or changing the subject if it got awkward. Felix mostly occupied himself on his phone or just staring at the outside that was passing by. The car ride itself only took less than an hour but Felix found himself dozing off.

The late-night and early morning combo were starting to creep on him and he hoped when they got back to Sean's house he could convince the other to nap with him on the couch. He smiled at the thought as the car stopped in front of a very formal and nice building.

"You two have a nice day now," the driver said. It was enough to snap Felix out of his sleepiness. As the other nodded to the driver in response he hopped out of the car and once again took Sean's hand to help guide the other. They bid their goodbyes to the driver once more and watched him pull out of the lot. Once Felix began walking to the entrance he realized how limp the other was in movement. Usually when people are told to follow someone with their eyes shut they are stiff and unnatural in their moment since they are afraid of blindly following anyone.

But Sean had been this way all his life and it completely trusted Felix with his own life if this wasn't proof enough. It made a swell of warmness bloom in his chest at the thought.

Once they passed the glass doors of the building Felix took in the brown and white decor of the waiting room. A couple of other patients sat sporadically around the room. A couple of kids sat with their parents as others with seeing dogs relaxed into chairs and waited for their names. At the very front sat a lady at the desk. She turned to them when the door opened and smiled as they approached.

"Hello Sean," she greeted. Even though Felix knew Sean was blind, he was sure that the other could hear the smile the lady carried.

"Hello," came a bright greeting from Sean. His hands came up to find the counter of her desk so he was properly in front of her.

"It's nice to see you again and who might this fellow be?" The lady rolled her chair back and was beginning to grab paper and a pen to attach to a clipboard.

"This is my soulmate! His name is Felix,"

"Hello," Felix greeted. The lady gasped in excitement as she slid the clipboard to Felix.

"Congratulations you two! It's such a happy thing when you find your other half. I'm super glad you found each other. I'm still waiting for mine," she sighed at the mention of her own love life.

"Well you can fill out the regular form and one of the other nurses will call you back when you are ready." She smiled at the two before she looked back at her computer.

"Will do," Sean joked. Felix felt a small tug of jealousy tug at his heart before he pulled back to tug Sean with him to a chair.

"Do I fill out the form?" Felix asked unsure about how comfortable the other felt about giving Felix his information.

"Well, that's preferable. I don't know if it’s my blindness but I've been told my penmanship isn't the best." Sean joked as he took his seat. With a snort, Felix gently pushed the other’s arm at the joke. For the next couple of minutes, they sat facing each other quietly answering the questions on the paper. They had formed a bubble around themselves. They told jokes and old stories while they waited and filled out the paper quietly.

"McLoughlin?" A voice rang through the air. Both men turned to the young lady in scrub as she looked around for the man.

"Come on," Felix took ahold of Sean's hand and led him to the lady. She gave them a greeting and took the clipboard from Felix's hands. Once they were in the back she shut the door behind them and told them to follow her. The back was quiet and dimly lit as she showed them the room they were going to be in.

"Since you just want to talk to the doctor about the procedure it should be a quick visit," she informed. The two nodded as Felix went to show Sean where to sit. He took his own seat in the chair placed in the back corner.

"I'm just going to check on your eyes quickly. Make sure there is no infection and that the skin on your eye isn't overgrown." With an okay from Sean, she went to work. She looked carefully into the other’s eye. Felix bounced his leg at how close the lady was getting to Sean but kept his mouth shut, after all, she was just doing her job.

"Everything is still the same?" She asked once she was done and was scribbling down notes on the papers the two filled out before.

"Ye. Nothin” has changed," Sean replied to the nurse while merely nodding at the other. Another bit of quietness filled the air before she finished up and went to leave.

"The doctor will be here shortly," she said as she opened the door. The two men gave their thank yous and the door was shut leaving them alone until the doctor would come in.

"So are you… really going to get your eyesight?" Felix asked as he bit his lip. Sean turned his head slightly to acknowledge the other and thought for a moment.

"If I ‘qualify’ for the procedure then yes. I wasn't always blind from what I know when I was born and opened my eyes I could see but that only lasted a few months and then my mom was told I lost my sight. The people here hope I can get my sight back with this procedure since it’s for people who went blind but I need to go see the doctor before anything gets promised." Sean explained, his hands twiddling with each other at the hope he was feeling.

"I hope you do qualify," Felix said softly. Both men smiled and Felix laughed.

"I hope I can live up to your expectations appearance-wise," the sudden realization of Sean being able to see hit him hard. He panicked slightly at the thought of his master plan crumbling before him.

"I'm sure ye will!" Sean replied with another giggle.

"And if I don't?" Felix questioned a real weight was carried on those words, but Sean disregarded it and smiled as he turned his body to completely face Felix.

"Plastic surgery is always available," Sean smiled. Felix snorted at the option. With the other one’s smile, he realized he could wait on the what-ifs of life. After all, they still didn't know if Sean qualified for the procedure. As the two fell into another conversation it was cut off by three knocks at the door.

"Excuse me, Mr. McLoughlin," the doctor came in. She had her hair tied into a low bun and her white coat stuck out awkwardly against the brown tints of the room.

"Hello," Sean said, his voice filled with brightness. The doctor immediately smiled as she placed herself on the rolling chair in the room.

"It's nice to see you again, and you even brought someone. Hello," the lady stood up from her seat and extended her hand to greet Felix. Felix himself popped up and met her halfway to join their hands.

"Hello, I'm Felix,"

"He's my soulmate," Sean said with a smile. The doctor gasped as she sat back down.

"How wonderful, it's always great to see when soulmates find each other." She commented as she began flipping through the pages in a folder she brought. Everyone seemed to have the same reaction.

"Well, I'm glad you came back and were interested in this procedure. I reached out to the specialist that does the surgery and if after this session you would like to do it we will contact him and set things up."

"That sounds perfect," Sean replied. The doctor nodded and stood up from her spot. She smiled as she moved closer to the man.

"I'm just going to look at your eyes too," she warned as she gently placed her hands on the other’s face. She pulled open the other’s eyes wide as she quickly looked over both. After that, she stepped back and pulled out tools and equipment and went about checking Sean’s eyes like the lady before.

"Personally I think you should have no problem going under the surgeries."

"Surgeries?" Sean repeated as he emphasized the plural part.

"Most people have to go in for 3 to 4 surgeries to correct the issue. However since you still have feeling in your eye I think 2 should be enough." She stated happily.

"I don't mean to sound like a cheap person but how much would everything be?" Sean asked. His voice dulled at the mention of money. The doctor finished shining a light into Sean’s eye and stepped back. She took her seat again as she scribbled down more notes.

"I'm not going to lie to you but it is quite expensive. However we do have a charity fund for people who can’t pay and, while I haven't checked yet, I'm sure your insurance will cover most of the cost since this isn't a ‘luxury’ type of surgery." The lady said, her fingers doing quotations around the word luxury.

"What would a ‘luxury’ surgery be then?" Felix asked out of curiosity. The doctor faced him while she began to explain.

"Basically any surgery you don't really need. Most cosmetic surgeries fall under that since they are not really needed to live. But since this is correcting something life-changing for Sean I'm sure you can get some financial help,"

"Well any help I can get, I would love to have." Sean smiled, his shoulders relaxing at the thought of having help in paying off the surgeries.

"We can talk more about that when you see the specialist. Today we will contact him and refer you to him and set up a date. After his viewing, he will tell you all the risks and such to see if you still want to go through with it. If you do, the next made appointment will be the actual surgery!" The doctor smiled wide at the mention of the future. Happy that she was able to help someone who needed it. Sean smiled to himself at the thought too.

After that, the doctor quickly finished off her note and stood up to lead them out.

"I'm glad you agreed to this. I'm sure you will be very happy after everything is done." She held the door open as Felix led them out.

"I'm sure I will too," Sean agreed as he followed Felix out.

"You two have a nice day," she called to them before she walked off to her next patient.

"Thank you, you too," Felix replied.


	7. SEVEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sean and Mark are not happy to see each other.

Felix had just finished his shift at the Pet Shed. It only lasted for four hours, so he was leaving the store by noon. Sean and him had plans to go grocery shopping after he finished with work. He had been looking forward to it for the entire shift he was trapped in. Domestic chores like shopping were so exciting in a relationship. It gave him a peek into the future and what it would be like once they began to live together. 

The blonde closed his eyes as he stepped outside and into the cold weather of Brighton. He tugged the beanie lower on his head and hid his ears that became increasingly more red from the chilly wind. His nose became irritated as he walked down the sidewalk and to where his bike was parked and locked to a bike rack. He was so entirely pale so his face became extremely rosy when any kind of temperature change occurred. 

Felix pulled his jacket closer to his body and zipped it up tight before bringing his bike lock keys out of his pocket. He shoved the object into the lock and twisted it, hearing the satisfying unlocking noise that he loved. He pulled the lock and chain off the vehicle and shoved it in his backpack.

The Swede lifted the bicycle from inside of the rack and placed it on the sidewalk. It bounced lightly as it found the ground. His left leg swung over the contraption and landed on the peddle, his fingers finding the handlebars and his bum sitting square on the seat. Felix’s favorite pastime was riding his bike around. It made him feel free and powerful. Using his own energy to power a vehicle. He got to decide how fast he went and he got a little bit of a work out as well.

His feet started to move against the plastic of the peddles, pushing them down and around in a circle to propel himself forward. The wheels turned as the spokes of the bike made a soft sound as he rode away from the store and to where his lover lived. He was finally on his way to see the one person he was very interested in.

Felix spotted the male’s house as he peddled down the street, turning into the residential area and making his way to the tan cracked up house that was void of any Halloween decorations. He knew how much Sean hated to keep anything out that went beyond the holiday. The male’s brother had flown in from Ireland to visit Sean and resulted in the culprit of helping take down any decorations belonging to Halloween. 

A loud squeak was heard as he hit the brakes on his bike in front of Sean’s house, leaning the vehicle up against the side of the house. He locked it against a pipe that led to a piece of technology in Sean’s house, making it the perfect bike rack right at home. The male straightened his back and stretched out the muscles that became tense from the weather. After the crack of his knuckles he stepped up on the porch and walked up to the door. He didn’t bother knocking. The two were already close enough that he knew exactly where his spare key was at to enter his home.

Felix reminisced the past week they had been together. After the appointment a week ago, they had grown even closer. The two had gone on a few dates. One of the dates consisted of the two of them at the local park, sat on a typical checkered blanket with a wicker picnic basket between them. They ate sandwiches and chips. Felix had whiskey for the first time. The discovery had created his newest obsession. He wanted to buy vintage whiskey and collect them until they were ready to drink. He wanted to buy all of the special glasses for tasting. Maybe Felix would get in the video making business and record himself drinking the whiskey for a few people to see. Like a review. 

The key fit between his fingers perfectly, gripping it and sliding it into the lock. He turned the item to the correct side and twisted the doorknob, pushing the door open. His feet slowly made their way into the home, wiping the dirt and snow off of his feet and onto the welcome mat.

“Babe? I’m here. Ready to go?” Felix called to his significant other although the two were still not officially together. The blonde still had some confidence to work up before he could ask the male out. 

Sean stepped out of his hallway with Brandy by his side, deciding he needed the dog to guide him around the grocery store when he ultimately wanders off to find the Swedish man a Christmas present. He wore a plain black shirt under a green bomber jacket that was red on the inside. His vision app let him know just how vibrant and Christmas-y it was. His legs had black skinny jeans clinging on tightly with his usual black Nike tennis shoes. His freshly dyed hair was covered by a snapback. Felix had convinced the boy to keep the color instead of reverting back to his brown hair.

He remembered when they had dyed it again just a few days ago. Felix had been so careful not to get the dye on any part of Sean’s head except his hair. Gloves were on his hands and neon green dye was being rubbed into the dull locks. Sean had trusted him with the one thing most people see first and it made Felix feel so loved and special.

The two had been in Sean’s bathroom for hours, the Irishman on the ledge of the bathtub and Felix standing in front of him. He had been spent an obnoxious amount of time making sure no dye fell on his pants or slid down his face. He would hate to ruin Sean’s trust although he would have no idea that he messed up his hair.

In the end, the wait was worth it. Sean’s hair was perfectly kept in the places he wanted and had been put up in a bun to soak in. The lad had been so antsy and bored the entire time that the second Felix had finished and thrown his gloves away, he had found where his arm was and pulled him into his lap. Felix remembered just how long they had made out before he realized his fingers were deep inside the locks and covered in green dye.

The older man looked down at his hands and smiled, the memory bringing joy to his heart. He was no longer as bummed as he had been when it first happened. 

“Ye, let’s head out. I missed you, Fe.” Sean let Brandy guide him to his lover, following his voice also to better accustom himself to his surroundings. They shared a kiss before exiting the home and closing the door, Felix doing the honors of locking it tight to ensure no one would break in easily through the front door. The green-haired man had called an uber for the two of them, their driver waiting outside for them. The grocery store was too far away for them to walk in the cold. Especially with Brandy.

After a short ride to their destination, the two found themselves in the store. Their first stop was what they would be having for dinner. Chicken fettuccine alfredo with garlic bread and asparagus. Felix was a master at making chicken and pasta so he decided for their first home cook meal together to be two of the things he could easily perfect. Sean let Brandy sniff the vegetables the other grabbed one of the produce bags and started to place two bunches of asparagus into it for the both of them.

Sean tugged at Brandy’s harness to bring her back to focus before he turned himself to where he assumed Felix stood. His fingers scratched at the leather of the handle that connected to Brandy, leaving light marks in the material. The man was comfortable being by himself but how could he properly pick out a present for Felix without being able to see it. And how could he hide it from him?

The Irishman explained that he had to go the bathroom, smiling softly as Felix offered to help. He shook his head and reassured the boy that he would be right back and there was nothing to worry about.

Sean then turned his entire body and brought out his phone from his pocket, plugging in his earphones and listening as his app described each object it was pointed at. The descriptions came in quick succession. Apples. Magazine with woman. Potato chips.

The Irishman listened to every single word that spilled into his ears from the earphones. He had nothing better than to move his feet along with Brandy and imagine what was in front of him. The sunglasses that sat over his pale eyes started to slip down as he moved his head to the floor. He really needed to invest in tighter glasses. They were always slipping down his face. 

He continued to walk until the voice described an aisle full of small knick-knacks and decorations. The male knew just how much Felix enjoyed to decorate spaces but how could he know if the piece went well with his apartment if he had never seen it before. And how would he know if the item was even pleasant to look at?

His fingers reached out slowly and picked up a giraffe paper weight. The phone described it as all marble. Sean came to the realization that they had only been talking a little over a week so his knowledge of what Felix liked was very minute and slim.

He placed the item back on the shelf and just sighed to himself. How could he even know how big it was or how expensive? He had no reference. Everything seemed so much bigger when he was touching it. The boy had nothing to compare it to. Sean just shook his head and brought his phone back up to continue searching.

An idea popped in his head as his phone pointed at a person.

“Tall man with red hair and glasses wearing a scarf.” The sound flooded into his ears and alerted him that someone could maybe help him with his decision. 

“Sir, can you please give me a hand? I’m blind but I’m trying to buy my boyfriend a Christmas gift. He likes decorations but I have no idea how his place looks or how any of these things look.” Sean let out a small chuckle as he pushed his phone back in his pocket, praying to god he was actually facing the stranger. He probably shouldn’t be telling a random stranger that he had an interest in boys. He could easily hurt him without warning.

Felix also was not his boyfriend yet. He wasn’t sure where they stood on the label. It would be a right nightmare if the man decided to walk up behind him and witness the label being thrown around. 

“Oh, sure. What’s his name? I’m good at guessing a personality from a name.” The voice was husky and full of volume. He sounded American but he couldn’t tell because he had never met an American before. He had only ever been in Ireland and England. The only time he heard any accent beyond that was when he was listening to youtube videos and imagining what they looked like and what the were doing. Sean had a game of guessing what was happening by the noises before it was introduced.

After supplying the stranger his lover’s name, the two sat in silence for a few moments before the stranger introduced himself.

“Oh! You’re Felix’s boyfriend! I’m Mark.”

The sentence could have been the most innocent thing Sean had heard. It could have even been exciting to meet someone Felix knew. But the person had ruined it. The name had made it all come crashing down. This was Mark? This random person he approached without any knowledge of who they were? This was the person Felix loved to talk about like they were a god?

Sean had half a mind to turn around and escape the situation but he demanded to know more. Who was this kid and why was he so invested with Felix?

“So you’re Mark. The one that doesn’t know what boundaries are.” Sean kept his voice quiet on the last sentence but by the sound of feet taking a step backward and a small gasp, Mark had heard it and was surprised by the reaction of them meeting. The redhead had expected to meet his best friend’s boy and get a warm welcome. Maybe a hug and an invite to hang out as a trio. Had the Swede made a false description of him? Or was the blind man just jealous and confused.

Another bout of awkward silence cascaded over the two men. Sean was very good at making situations uncomfortable for the other person but he had succeeded in causing them both to shrink in on themselves. Although the green-haired man was standing a lot straighter than the other, his arms folded over his chest with a scowl on his face. Brandy sat next to her owner, glaring at Mark and adding to his anxiety.

“Look, dude. I don’t have feelings for Felix. I’m straight. I have never liked Felix in that way before. Even in his drunken cuddles.” Mark explained his side, all of it coming from the heart. He truly had no interest in his best friend. He had his eyes set on a special lady named Amy. If he wanted Felix he would’ve made his move years ago when Felix had a massive crush on him. 

Felix and Mark had met in the beginning of Freshman year in high school. Felix was a foreign exchange student visiting from Sweden for a year. He wasn’t to stay for longer than Freshman year but he had somehow convinced his parents that he could stay until the end of Sophomore year. Mark was devastated once he left. Felix was even more so. He cried and cried until he was back home in Sweden, then he cried some more. They video chatted for years and never mentioned the kiss they shared before Felix went back home. Mark started his clothing business and saved enough money to see Felix at least once every month.

Mark was now graduating college and living just a few blocks away from his best friend of so many years. He was starting to miss the loving sun back in the states but nothing could beat being able to see Felix anytime he wanted to. It made him the happiest he had ever been. Although Felix had his fair share of mistakes and fucked up decisions, he was still platonically in love with him and that would never cease.

The sound of footsteps and the wheels of a shopping cart alerted them both to the presence of the blonde Swede. Sean was especially made aware of him once arms went around his waist and a head was tucked in his shoulder. He hoped the man didn’t connect as to why they were in the decorations aisle. He would hate for the surprise to be ruined by a stupid conflict. Felix hadn’t realized who his company was talking to until his baby blues lifted from where they were pointed to the floor.

His eyes met Mark, causing his body to react before his brain fully comprehended what was happening. The boy straightened his back and stepped to the side of Sean, removing his arms from around his body. They weren’t supposed to meet. Not this soon. 

“Mark! I didn’t know you were here. What… Why are you talking to Jack?” Felix didn’t bother hiding his annoyance, his eyes narrowed. Had his best friend outed him of his biggest secret? Why were they talking and why did Sean seem so angry? 

Mark would never out him like that. He could never. Felix was sure of it. So why exactly were they talking? Felix had no answer. He couldn’t put his finger on why Mark looked confused and Sean looked upset. The way Mark’s brow furrowed, the side of one part of his mouth lifting as if to silently ask what in the fuck Sean was on about. The Irishman’s face was red, his eyebrows disappearing under his sunglasses as he glared at him. Although Mark couldn’t see his eyes and he was most definitely not facing him straight on, his look would kill. If Sean wasn’t blind, Felix knew how intimidating his eye contact would be.

Mark wasn’t able to even open his mouth before Sean interjected, air practically blowing out of his nostrils as he found Felix’s hand and tugged it. Was Sean mad at Mark? Why wasn’t he yelling at Felix for lying? Did he not know?

“Don’t worry about that, babe. My  _ soulmate  _ and I are going to go check out. Goodbye Mark.” The syllables of ‘soulmate’ were harshly enunciated, as if to stab at Mark. Sean hoped if he had any feelings for his boy that those words would scare him away and cause him to think twice before trying to cuddle him again. No two men could cuddle without there being an underlying meaning. Sean was sure of it. But Felix was his and he would not allow some American to ruin that for him.

Felix averted his attention to the shorter boy that grabbed his hand, feeling the pressure of his grip. His hand would hurt after. No doubt. Without a word of reply, he looked back up at Mark and caught the deathly glare. The look stabbed at him without guilt. He knew exactly what it entailed. Mark was seconds from spilling Felix’s guts to Sean himself. The look was a warning to shut his boyfriend’s mouth before he hurt him. 

Mark was usually the sweetest person anyone would meet but he would not permit someone to disrespect him so violently like Sean had just done. He used every piece of his body to restrain from telling Sean that his  _ soulmate _ was lying to him. But he loved Felix too much to ruin his trust like that. Although it was a bit unfair to force Mark to keep his mouth shut about a topic he felt so strongly over. 

Mark wasn't awarded with a tattoo on his arm when he was born. He was a Blank. The redhead had grown up his entire life being laughed. Yelled at by his parents for dooming their lineage to end. How could he have children with anyone that wasn’t his soulmate? And if he didn’t have a soulmate, he would not be able to have children. His teenage years were full of stress and breakdowns. He ended most of his nights in fits of tears after being embarrassed at school and verbally abused at home. He never met another Blank.

So when Felix gave him knowledge of his plan, it angered him beyond belief. How could he ruin someone’s chance of finding their soulmate without even a second thought? Especially to a blind person that could never know what was on his arm. But why hadn’t his family told him about his arm?

He had spent quite a few days hating his best friend’s actions. He could never hate the boy himself but he hated the way he thought sometimes. It made him feel so weak and like he had no backbone against him. Mark loved his best friend but he couldn’t hurt him or make him upset.

Telling the boy was none of Mark’s business so he decided not to meddle in it. 

“Whatever, Felix. You’re lucky I don’t want to hurt you.” That was all the male said before he grabbed his things and walked out of the aisle and past the two. Mark made his way to checkout, paying for his things in a hurry before continuing on his way outside and to his car. He needed to get away from Felix before he did something he would regret.

Felix stared off to where his best friend had exited, his hand still interlocked with Sean’s. He felt like an idiot for almost picking his love of interest one the man he had been friends with for a decade. He would apologize later. The Swede loved the American but he couldn't deny Sean’s place in his heart. 

”Alright.. Let’s get going then.”

-

Felix was eerily zombie-like the entire ride home, starting down at his hand as he unlocked Sean’s front door. His lips were pressed into a thin, straight line. Sean still held a scowl on his features, removing the harness from Brandy and letting her roam around the house. She was trained to ask for food when she was hungry and water when she was thirsty so the male never had to worry about Brandy missing out on a meal because of his own forgetfulness. The younger male pulled his glasses off and placed them on the table after feeling for where the surface was. His first attempt failed, causing the glasses to tumblr to the carpet and splay out. His second went a loth smoother. Sean carefully placed the shades on the coffee table and turned to where he assumed Felix was.

The blonde watched as Sean struggled with his glasses, standing by the open door. He wasn’t sure if he should stay or go home and try to make amends with Mark. The male didn’t want the two to cease talking over something as small as Sean having a misunderstanding. He still held zero knowledge over why Sean was upset with Mark.

He bid his farewell to his lover for the night, pecking him on the lips and forehead before leaving the home. Felix made sure to give a small wave to Brandy before he shut and locked the door behind him. 

He rode to his best friend’s apartment, parking his bike outside of his building and locking it to a sturdy pole. It was the closest thing he could find to a bike rack. 

The blonde furthered his trek inside the establishment, passing the front desk that held zero people. Anyone could easily walk in and make a tidy home in the stairwell. Felix had done the exact same when he first moved to Brighton. He had zero funds to support himself so he resorted to squatting in abandoned houses and stairwells until someone found him and shooed him away to the next location. 

Felix ran his hands through his slightly knotted hair, shaking them from side to side to release the locks from any rats he had accumulated through riding in the thick wind. After disconnecting his fingers from his head, he stood in front of Mark’s apartment and gave the door three harsh knocks. His best friend had a habit of never hearing when someone was at his door. Mark had missed a pizza delivery many times from his lack of perception.

The male stood patiently outside the door, kicking at the wall as he waited for the door to open and for his guts to spill out to his friend. He could never go even a day without seeing Mark after a fight. Felix was rather weak when it came to him. But he embraced it and embraced his friend every chance he had.

Thirty long seconds passed before the door was opened just a crack and Mark stuck his head out. His hair was a mess, sticking up in odd directions, and he was obviously without a shirt on. Felix stared with his mouth agape, trying to search for the words to say to him. How could he address his best friend that was so obviously busy without it being the most awkward sentence he ever spoke? 

**Author's Note:**

> New story alert! Hopefully everyone enjoyed the beginning of a new journey. Chapter 2 will come soon. Feel free to suggest any events for upcoming chapters! -C
> 
> Words in Swedish:  
Herregud - Oh My God


End file.
